Someone to Love
by Laurynn
Summary: When Quistis overreacts to Squall's decisions as mission leader, she pushes him away. Even Zell and Selphie notice somethings up when Squall is acting strangely. The last thing they expect to find is the key to his unknown past
1. Default Chapter

10/31/08 – Stumbled upon this little thing that I haven't touched in forever, that I never finished. Hoping to finish this time. 

1/24/04 -Okay, I've never written a video game fanfic (plus I haven't finished so when I mess up you'll know why). All my fanfics (not posted and posted) to this point have been anime so be forgiving all you gam3rs.

I am totally a Quall fan. Oh yes, and here is my disclaimer. I don't own FF8 or any of it's characters.

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There was a gasp and a thud. Quistis's arms were still up protecting her face as she hit the ground. Squall landed in front of her after swinging his gunblade, which he was gripping with sweat. He didn't slow for a second, running to the next monster to battle it as well. He was panting slightly as he swung again. And then he ran to the next monster, and the next and the next. He looked to his left where Zell was fighting a crowd as well. Quistis was still unconscious on the ground behind them, which made Squall nervous but there wasn't a single break in the fighting when he could check on her.

"Zell!" Squall called angrily swiping another monster down the middle.

"Kind of busy!" Zell shouted back, moving on to the next monster himself.

"We can't hold them! There's too many!" Squall told him, angrily killing another. "Get Selphie down here! We're going to need backup!"

"She's too far! You won't last!" Zell retorted. Zell would have to make a break for the ship and they were completely surrounded. They hadn't even brought their communicators, thinking that the monsters would be no sweat compared to what they'd dealt with before.

"I'll- I'll be alright." Squall yelled, thinking of no other option. "Just go! Now!" Without hesitating, Zell disengaged in the battle and dodged around the beasts and was gone. Squall knew he didn't have much time before him and Quistis were dead. He took a step back as the monster in front of him closed in. His foot nudged Quistis. With a quick look back, he realized there was nothing more to be done so he did the only thing he could think of to save them both. He stuck his gunblade into the ground and summoned his guardian force.

"Shiva!" She wasted no time; springing forth from the gunblade, a powerful image of a goddess was summoned.

"Cover our escape!" He shouted at her. Then he gathered Quistis in his arms and stood behind Shiva, while she began attacking the beasts with ice crystals. Squall heard the engine of the ship roaring nearby. It landed in the middle of the chaos, it's landing platform down. Zell jumped from the platform and took Quistis into his own arms and jumped back aboard the platform.

"I'll throw the rope down!" Zell called as Selphie piloted the ship out of the monsters reach. Behind him, he could hear Shiva shrieking. He'd known it was too much for her.

Squall grabbed the handle of his gunblade and waited. As soon as Zell had secured the rope he threw it down and Squall quickly wrapped it around his hand and yanked. Zell heaved him up out of the mass as Squall pulled gunblade out of the ground. Shiva was suddenly gone.

Zell pulled until he heaved Squall and his gunblade onto the ship's open platform. Zell collapsed onto him, his chest heaving.

"Man," he spoke through breaths. "You're packing on the pounds." Squall smiled. Zell was a good man.

"Amazing rescue, Zell." He told him. Standing and walking into the inside of the ship after Zell. They pulled the platform closed and Zell phoned the Garden. Squall heaved Quistis onto the seats of the ship and elevated her head.

"Yes, Gamma ship, vector code four fifty seven. Ya, we're going to need some backup." Zell paused, still breathing heavily. "About thirteen. Have them ready by the time we get there. We're in sector…" He glanced at the navigator map. "Three. And we have a wounded SeeD so be sure to have Infirmary in the hangar." He hung up and smiled suspiciously.

"What?" Squall questioned.

"She's going to be angry." He said, jerking his head towards the unconscious Quistis. "You weren't supposed to use the GF's without authorization."

"Hey, who runs the mission when the leader is unable? The second in command. And remind me who that is-" Squall was saying but Zell was already laughing.

"I'm going to see how Selphie is doing." He told Squall and disappeared down the hallway to the cockpit.

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When they landed in the hangar and lowered the platform, SeeDs sprung up. Two were carrying Quistis and lowered her onto a stretcher and whisked her away. Several ships took off and SeeDs were equipping it as Zell and Squall stepped off. A mission commander came over.

"We have sent three ships now, we're sending this one and two more. Will it be enough?"

"Yes, I think that will be plenty." Zell said. As Zell continued to talk with the mission commander, Squall noticed no one was charging the GFs or replacing them. He stepped back on the platform to talk to a cargo man.

"This one has a wounded GF. It needs to be replaced. She can't go back into battle for at least a day. She used up most of her charge getting us out of there."

"Yes sir." The man said, running to switch the GF.

Selphie emerged from the ship as well.

"Are we going back? She questioned.

"No," Squall answered. "They have six going."

"Good. I need a bath. I'm drenched in blood." Zell said laughing.

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Quistis opened her eyes and they were suddenly angered. She sat up but she was not where she remembered being last.

"What happened?" She asked Dr. Kadowaki, throwing the covers off and standing.

"From what I hear there was a great many this time. They just sent in six ships. And to think, you only had one!"

"But that means we had to come back. We left those residents in danger! And _how_ did they get out of there?"

"Oh, Quistis, I'm just the doctor. Take this before you go." The doctor thrust some orange liquid at her and made her drink it. "And you'll just need a little ice for that bump on your head."

"Kaye, I'm not a child anymore." Quistis told her, walking out the door.

Quistis was running back to the hangar where Squall, Zell and Selphie had just emerged.

"You're alright!" Selphie exclaimed in relief.

"Yes, I'm fine! What happened?" She questioned again.

"Well, it must have got you from behind because you were gone within a minute." Squall explained. Zell and Selphie waved them off and continued walking, knowing she was in a foul temper.

"But how did you escape?"

"I used a GF. We wouldn't have made it out without Shiva." Squall explained.

"WHAT?" Quistis screamed. "What were you thinking? Of all the techniques and training this Garden has given you, you couldn't think of anything else but a GF? You know how dangerous they are! And you had no authorization!"

Squall turned angrily back at her. "You were unconscious! I was the commander of the mission and I said there was no other option. Should you have any complaints about the way mission was run you can submit a formal complaint." He turned to leave.

"Squall that was a direct order from Cid! Next time we are on a mission, whether it's Cid giving the orders or me, I expect them to be followed!" She snapped.

"Next time, I'll just let you die." He told her harshly and began walking away, fists clenched.

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"You okay man?" Zell asked as Squall caught up to him and Selphie in the hall..

"Why is she so thick?" He asked, ignoring Zell's original question.

"I...think she's...worried." Squall looked over at him as they walked down the hall.

"Worried? About what?" He asked, incredulously.

"Well, she just got her job back." Zell pointed out.

"So?" Squall said, not convinced.

"Did you hear the charge on which she got fired? She broke rank. Even she was reprimanded for going outside the chain of command. Why is it surprise she's going after you for it?"

"So what? It's not like Cid would have stood for it. He told fired that guy and Cid knows Quistis well enough to know she was doing the right thing." Squall said. He knew Cid and Quistis all to well to know that Cid would never let Quistis be fired over something so trivial.

"Well, the point is, they wanted her back. She's worried that if you break rank in front of her and you don't get punished she'll get fired again. They'll think that's what she taught you. I can't really blame her." Zell added.

"How can anyone at our Garden not know me? I take the initiative whenever I need to. That's why I'm a SeeD. That's why I'm a commander of most all of my missions."

"What are you getting at?" Zell asked.

"How can they blame my actions on Quistis when they know that it was me?"

"People in high places can do anything." Selphie said.

"Well, the SeeD who fired her is not the commander of this Garden and besides, she does a lot for this Garden." Squall said.

"So do you." Selphie said, eyeing him.

"What?"

"Well, you do a lot for the Garden to but nobody tells you you're fired when you step out of line and you do it all the time." He hesitated. She smiled at his hesitation.

"Point taken. But still, I don't instruct, so as long as I'm commanding and doing a good job of my missions, they can't touch me. Plus, I wield the gunblade and they wouldn't want to loose the commander of their best team, would they?"

"You could've just stopped after the gunblade part." Zell said rolling his eyes.

"We are one of the best teams. Have you seen our statistics? Not ever Seifer's team has pulled those numbers." He said, as if this statement ended the argument.

"What about when the team you're on isn't always with me, Zell and Quistis?"

"Our members are amazing on any team." Squall told them.

As they turned the corner to the dorms, two kids, no older than four and five, ran out in front of them. Squall waited for them to go by, but Zell and Selphie cut right in front of them as if they couldn't see them. As he had waited Selphie and Zell had turned.

"Coming?" Selphie asked. He watched them run down the hallway and down another corridor and reminiscing a bit he smirked.

"Yea." He listened to Selphie and Zell talk the rest of the way there. Squall stopped at #402 while Zell and Selphie went further as they were in #409 and #422.

"See ya later." She waved to Squall and engaged Zell in conversation as he shut the door and fell on his bed, gunblade and all. He sighed. His eyes began to droop. He yawned, shed his gunblade, rolled over and fell asleep.

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	2. Chapter 2

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RING. RING. RING. RING. RING.

Squall rolled over in his sleep and opened his eyes. He picked up his phone. Zell's face appeared dark on the screen.

"Where are you? I thought you were coming?" He yelled over the noise of people and music.

"Coming where?" Squall asked, sitting up.

"It's Tuesday night!" Once a month all the SeeDs got together and went out somewhere. All senior SeeDs were exempt from duty on the first Tuesday of the month.

"Oh, sorry. I forgot."

"How could you forget? It's at the new place tonight!"

"Oh right. I'll be there in a few." Selphie's face appeared next to Zell's.

"Where are you?"

"I'm coming." He said, rubbing his eyes and glancing at his watch and shutting the phone.

Squall stood and stretched, letting out a sigh. He changed his clothes quickly and grabbed his phone and keys as he went out the door, locking it behind him. He stopped to slip his phone into his back pocket and put his keys away, when he heard a giggle. He looked up to see the same two children he had seen earlier running around the hall, this chasing a butterfly. He stopped to watch them again.

He was lost in them, bewildered by their presence at a Garden, especially this late, but didn't have any reason to question them. He was sure there was somebody looking after them. There was a special glow to their faces, an aura around their bodies as if the sunlight kept them going, as if nothing in the world mattered. Suddenly, a noise echoed through the hall. Squall's eyes were diverted from the kids to a door down the dormitory foyer behind him, which had been slammed. His eyes went back to the children but they were gone and so was the sunlight. He blinked. It was dark. How had there been sunlight? He shrugged his shoulders and shook it off and set off back down the passage.

He walked to the hangar and check out a car for Balamb, which took five minutes. He found a parking space and walked in to the club. He spotted Selphie and Zell in the far corner with a bunch of other SeeDs he knew. He made his way through the noisy jostling people and multi-colored lights to the corner.

"SQUALL!" Zell yelled, throwing his arm around Squall's shoulder and pulling him over. His breath smelled of beer. He didn't try to yell over the noise to say hi, but simply waved. He got a few waves here and there from some well-known faces. He really wasn't in the mood to be around the loud noise. Things were nagging at the back of his brain. He got a drink and took the seat next to Zell, slightly bobbing his head to the music when he saw a familiar girl in the middle of the dancing crowd. She was a SeeD but they had never really talked. He looked around her to see more familiar SeeDs. Then, he saw someone he had not seen at Tuesday night in a very long time.

Instead of having her hair up in a messy bun and wearing her SeeD uniform, Quistis had her long red hair down and for once some stylish clothes. She was dancing to the beat like everyone else. They were all laughing. Quistis threw her head back and let out a rare smile. Bringing him back to the reality that he was lost from was Selphie nudging her elbow into his ribs, making him lose quite a lot of beer on the table.

"What?" He complained.

"Stop worrying, just have some fun!" She giggled, her hair falling in her face. She smelled like beer too as she leaned in to take his, which she took a sip of, and then put on the table.

"Come on and dance with us!" Selphie said, pulling him up and into the commotion. Squall made sure they were far enough away from Quistis in the crowd.

The DJ brought around a fast paced song and everybody switched partners. His eyes were on Quistis as he passed Selphie to another partner. She was dancing with a tall man he didn't know. Squall couldn't help noticing that the man was extremely good looking.

Although he would have continued staring at her, he was dancing with someone he didn't know and had to concentrate on doing the dance steps properly, particularly at the end when they would switch again.

After receiving Selphie back from Zell, the song changed and Squall made his way back to his beer and rested against the back of the booth he'd been sitting in and continued to watch.

He was surprised Quistis wasn't working. From what Cid had told him, she always worked late. He didn't know much about her anymore, since they had ceased their friendship in his third year but Cid had suggested her overtime hours were the result of her outstanding work.

But he couldn't help but notice how different she looked tonight.

Quistis laughed as he twirled her around. He knew she was a good dancer since they had danced together before. That is to say, Squall was not shabby either, but then again, there weren't many things Squall was bad at.

The songs seemed to last forever. Zell and Selphie had joined in as well. He didn't want to watch anymore. He drained the last of his drink. He pulled out his wallet, left a few Gil on the table for the tab and stood. He slipped through the crowd, rejecting some advances from women he didn't know. He went through the exit and was relieved to find the fresh air and the silence of the outside.

He got into his car and drove back. He checked in at the gate like always but instead of heading to his room he walked to the Quad.

He sat on the bench in the park, put his elbows over the back and stared at the fountain on the other side. He breathed in the clean air and his eyes focused on something across the way. The same two children as before were running around. Chasing the butterfly in the sunlight, he smiled at them, at their innocence. The butterfly was swooping just out of their grasp and their giggles were making their faces light up with joy.

Something made Squall turn his eyes from the children and it wasn't another butterfly. It was Zell running into the Quad with furious eyes.

"What was that?" Zell asked, angrily, motioning toward the entrance.

"What?" He said, his eyes returning to the children.

"What's up?" He broke out, angrily. "Why did you just storm out like that?"

"I didn't storm anywhere."

"I hate it when you lie." He folded his arms and looked away. Squall said nothing.

"You're my best friend." Zell broke out again. "And I've known you since before I can remember and I've never kept anything from you now stop lying!"

Suddenly, another little boy came out of nowhere and began to chase the same butterfly. He stared at them as Zell continued to yell. He stared hard at the children before he looked at Zell who was suddenly silenced with his eyes locked onto Squall's.

"I'm being serious." Squall said, trying to avoid having to say that he'd never kept anything from Zell either. The truth of the matter was, was that Zell was the more outgoing type and Squall just wasn't and the rhyme or reason to which they were such good friends just didn't make sense. Zell just wasn't the kind of guy to keep secrets and Squall, well, was.

"You're serious?" Zell said looking relieved.

"Yes."

"There you go again." Zell said. folding his arms again. "You're lying." Squall sighed. Yes, he was lying but Zell had never really ventured into any issues that Squall had any reason to protect until now so he had had no reason to lie.

"Look, I know you too well for this." Zell started again. Squall concluded the only way to get Zell to leave him be, was going to be the truth or a lie to cover his original lie. So, he lied.

"I just wasn't in the mood for the noise tonight. I didn't feel like dancing or being around Quistis." Zell exhaled a lot of air at once that he had originally been planning on using yelling at Squall and said simply "Really?"

"Yeah," said Squall, shrugging it off.

"You know, if it's something as uncomplicated as a girl you should just let me know next time." Zell said, laughing.

"Ya, uncomplicated." Squall said sarcastically. Zell smiled at his friend and turned to leave.

"Dude, next time you gotta vent, just do it." Squall shrugged his left shoulder.

And as Zell left and Squall's eyes returned to the children that Zell hadn't seen. Squall couldn't help but think that anything he had ever wanted to vent about was a secret.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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Squall stayed on that bench until late into the night watching the children play. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do. He had never told anyone how he had come to be at Garden or why exactly he was so good at everything he did there. He hadn't even figured out what to say if someone had asked him why. All he knew was Garden and the few friends he'd grown up with.

The only one that knew about his life was Cid because Cid had raised him. Quistis knew enough but Zell knew next to nothing about his story.

He probably would've improvised and said that he was just a very dedicated SeeD student but anyone who knew him long enough knew that that story would never suffice.

Students at Garden typically never question each other about their past since once you attend Garden you can't ever go back. Therefore people had no problem not knowing his secrets and just believing that he was just extremely talented with his gunblade.

He waited on that bench, not really knowing exactly what he was waiting for. Maybe he was expecting something to happen to the children. He looked up as someone walked by; a newbie by the look of his attire. Newbies had curfew at ten because training is rough the first year. Squall glanced at his watch. It read thee and knowing that something was up, he questioned him.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Squall asked from the bench. The boy stopped, startled by anyone being up at three in the morning sitting on a bench.

"Uh, the Headmaster told me to come down and get someone named Bejei, a SeeD." He stuttered.

"Bejei? He's in room 413. He's not here." Squall told him.

"Sir, he's not in his room. The Headmaster would like to see him and thought he might be here instead." Squall tried to remember if he'd seen him at the club.

"Well, he's not here. I've been here for about six hours. Everyone else has left." The Squall saw the boy's face, crestfallen at not finding him.

"Tell the Headmaster the SeeDs went out tonight and that he's probably still out, all right? Is everything alright?"

"Sir, his sister was rushed to the hospital!" Then the boy thanked Squall and ran out of the Quad. Squall blinked. Bejei had graduated in the same year as him yet he had never mentioned anything about ever having a sister. He had never asked about Bejei's family either, as Bejei had not asked him. It was a sort of unspoken rule. Squall wondered if anyone else he knew was hurting as much as he was from their past.

Squall's eyes returned to the spot where he had been watching the children just moments earlier, but they were gone. He sat up quickly. He blinked again. Where has they gone?

"You're tired." He told himself, standing up. He stretched his arms back and closed his eyes to yawn. Suddenly someone bowled him over. He was underneath someone and as he sat up he saw someone with brown hair hugging his chest. He recognized her outfit.

"Rinoa, why are you on me?"

"Oh Squall! I missed you so much!"

"I saw you two weeks ago. Why are you back?" He looked at his watch again. 3:07. "And why so early?"

"I was escorting some newbies from our area this morning and we only just arrived! I gladly volunteered to come. I couldn't wait to see you guys!" He sat up letting her slide down a little.

"Well that's...nice." Squall told her.

"Are you not happy?" She asked, frowning.

"Sure." He grunted.

"You are? You don't look it." She pouted.

"I'm going to bed." Her bottom lip pouted more intensely.

"I was hoping you'd stay up with me. We could catch up and stuff! It will be fun!"

"Maybe later." He stood up.

"Oh okay. I'll walk you to your room." She said jumping up next to him.

"I have a mission in the morning," he lied.

"Squall! Can't you get out of it?" She asked sing-songly while running up beside him and linking her arm with his.

"I'm afraid I can't."

"I know I thought we could talk since we haven't in such a long time! And I've really missed you!" She said capturing one of his brunette locks around her finger and twirling it.

"We can talk later."

"Promise?" She asked, pouting again.

"I have a mission." Said Squall avoiding her eyes.

"Oh, well I can help you with the mission!" She said jumping with enthusiasm.

"It's going to be a long one. You might have to return to your own Garden to help with this escalating war." He told her. Realizing she still had his hair around her finger, he pulled it away.

"Squall? Are you okay?" She asked, stepping in front of him.

"Yes, just tired." They neared his room. He opened the door and quickly tried to shut it but she caught it with her hand.

"See you in the morning!" Then she released it and it slammed. He walked over and fell on his bed.

"But that's the thing. I don't want to see you in the morning." He changed and got into bed and fell asleep quickly.

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The next morning he was awoken quickly by a voice he had originally thought to be in his dream.

"Oh, isn't he a doll when he sleeps?" He opened his eyes and sat up and to about five of six girls in his room, including Rinoa. The rest of the girls, the obvious newbies, ran out of his room in giggling fits.

"Well good morning sleepy head! I was just showing those newbies what the inside of a SeeD room looks like!" She cried gleefully.

"GET OUT." He pointed towards the door. She didn't seem to realize that he was furious.

"Okay well I'll see you later." She skipped out the door and he went over behind her and slammed it. Then he locked it and watched her out the peephole.

"Run along now girls. You'll be expected soon I think." But as Rinoa began to walk off someone went by.

"Quistis! What a pleasant surprise!" Rinoa shrieked. Quistis had been reading something and had stopped in mid-step to look at Rinoa. The two of them, dire opposites clashed so badly but Rinoa never seemed to mind. There was Quistis, prim and proper, in her nice ironed SeeD uniform, hair pulled tightly back and glasses propped on the tip of her nose. She was on duty, reading whatever the latest news about the war was and there was Rinoa in her civilian clothes, a catastrophe in mismatching socks.

"Oh hello. I'd heard you would be here this week...but I didn't expect you down here...in the Dormitory wing." She said, her eyebrows rose ever so slightly, glancing at Squall's door.

"Oh well, you know, I just woke up Squall, the sleepyhead. He was in bed until just a minute ago." Quistis's eyes were still focused on the door, where Squall was still standing looking at her through the peephole.

"Oh, I see." She said rather bitterly.

"Well, I really must get going." She added quickly as if Rinoa was going to invite her to stay.

"Well maybe we can all get together, do some missions or just hang out. I haven't been able to see you guys in such a long time, you know?" She smiled, patting Quistis on the arm but Quistis took a step back as if her joviality was infectious.

"I don't know how busy I'm going to be. We're not on break, like your Garden so I'm sure the schedule would be the same as usual." She said with monotony as she watched Rinoa bouncing on her toes with excitement, like a puppy.

"Oh okay but I'm sure we can still get together and do something." She sang.

"Yes, yes that...would be...nice." She forced out.

"It would be wonderful!" She shrieked.

"Until later then." She said, quick to resume reading where she left off.

"See ya later!" Shouted Rinoa joyfully and skipped off down the hallway. Squall rolled his eyes and watched Quistis walk off. He went back to his bed and lay on his back, thinking.

"Quistis." He whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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He resigned himself to lying around the entire day. He knew that if he went back to the Quad, which was quickly becoming his favorite place to lay around, Rinoa would find him but if stayed in his room she would be there quicker than he wanted to see her again. Yet, "ten years from now would also be too soon," he thought to himself. He got up but before he left his room, he grabbed his gunblade, just in case. He knew he was on call for missions today.

He slipped through the Garden quickly using every secret hallway or shortcut he knew and made it to Cid's office a lot faster than he was thinking. His mind was still back in the Quad when Cid's office door came into his view. He watched as two little girls and two little boys chasing after a butterfly cut in front off him and walked towards the door. He suddenly looked back at the children but they were gone. He blinked.

He shrugged it off yet again and turned to ask Cid's secretary to his right if Cid was busy, but she seemed to be sleeping on her desk. He stood there for a puzzled moment, deciding whether to wake her up but thought better of it and let himself in, eyes sweeping over the plaque that read "Headmaster."

"What?" Cid asked as the door opened. His tone seemed a little annoyed. The quality of his voice changed immediately as he looked up and saw Squall.

"Come in!" Squall walked inside, without saluting or showing any signs that he was now in the headmaster's presence or anywhere of major importance but sat down like it was somewhere he had been so many times that he had it memorized.

"Same chair." Cid said smiling, looking over the top of his glasses and setting down the papers he was reviewing. He had a paternal gleam in his eyes.

"You say that every time I come in here." Squall said.

"Only because it's true." Cid retorted.

"I like this chair and if I ever hear you let anyone else sit in it I don't think I could ever forgive you." He said laughing. Cid laughed too.

"I'll be sure no one else sits there." Cid told him sternly. Walking in, you would have thought the two were best friends.

"Good, because it's my chair."

"So what's going on? I haven't had the pleasure of your company here in a while."

"Not true." Squall contradicted.

"What is it?" Cid asked.

"Rinoa."

"Ahhh, how could I have forgotten?" Cid said taking off his glasses and leaning back in his chair.

"I'm not sure." Squall said crossing his arms. "I'm sure you heard about what she did in my room this morning."

"Yes, I did." Cid said, stifling his hilarity.

"It's not funny. Whenever she's here, she is always all over me."

"Maybe that's good for a change since everything else comes so easily to you." Squall began to protest but Cid cut him off. "I know you've had to work for your position in this Garden but you do so well with where you are. She has just received her SeeD rank and for some reason she feels at home with you."

"Couldn't you just give her something little to do since she's always Ms. Happy Bumblebee zooming around?"

"What did you have in mind?" Cid asked.

"She could just be a newbie chaperone. That's simple and hard to mess up."

"That's what she was doing this morning." Cid said, smirking.

"Oh, I don't know." Squall said. "Just keep us apart." A loud beep issued from the phone on Cid's desk. Cid pushed the button and said, "What?"

"Sir, its Instructor Trepe," said the secretary's voice on the speaker phone.

"Send her in." He told her, his softening like he did when Squall entered. As she opened the door, Quistis spotted Squall and hesitated about stepping in.

"Am I interrupting?" She asked gingerly.

"No, no." Cid said. Quistis walked to the desk and handed papers to Cid.

"Here's the report you wanted." She pointed to specific points on the paper.

"Ah, my dear, you have done it again; pulled off a spectacular save. This is perfect." Quistis blushed, one of the rare times Squall had ever seen her do so.

"Thank you." She nodded to Cid and then to Squall and left quickly. Squall watched her go as Cid skimmed the paperwork that Quistis had brought him.

"She is amazing!" Cid declared, looking more intently upon her work.

"And annoying." Squall said defiantly. Cid looked up quickly.

"Ah, yes. I heard you two had a…what should we say…a spat?"

"You make it sound as though we're friends. She hasn't spoken to me as a friend since my third year."

"Well, she has her reasons and I suppose you do too. Tell me, what complaint did she have?"

"She was unconscious and I used a GF." Squall said quickly. Cid's eyebrows raised and he sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose and quickly showing his Garden knowledge.

"Well, I can't fault her for being angry because hearing you say that, you must have used it without authorization and that is a very serious offense. However, I can also see your point and I believe under section 15 of the guardian force articles of Balamb, there is a clause about using GF's without proper authorization should it be life or death."

"And you're assuming it wasn't. I had to send Zell back to alert Selphie and Quistis was unconscious. Which means, I was outnumbered at least thirty to one. It _was_ life or death."

"And surely you know now where your mistake was?"

"My mistake? I only took over when she was knocked down. I would never have been out of range of a ship like that. She cost us the mission. We had to leave those people in danger, which is strictly against code."

"Really? I've never heard of her breaking procedure like that." Cid looked concerned.

"I know. I'm going to have to write up a report still. I haven't quite decided what to say."

"No, I don't want a report. You've reported to me quite thoroughly." Cid told him, running his fingers through his hair. "I will address those onboard. Send me their names, ranks, and SeeD numbers and I will address them myself."

"Will do. Not today though, since I'm trying to avoid Rinoa and she loves bothering me at work."

"Oh just go do it! It will take a few minutes at most and I am not a Headmaster that puts things off."

"Fine, but I really gotta go." Squall told him, standing up and stretching. "But pull something good off for me and keep her out of my way for today. It's my day off."

"You have a mission tomorrow morning and-"

"Don't let Rinoa come to that either." He said cutting Cid off sternly.

"I'll do what I can but that doesn't mean you have a guarantee."

"Alright, whatever." Squall laughed. "And you might want to get your secretary some espresso."

"Oh and by the way. I've had some phone calls about you."

"About me?" Squall said, interested. He crossed his arms and leaned on the back of his chair.

"Yes, I received two in the past week. Both were from other Gardens. One from the Headmaster of Trabia Garden and one from the commander of Karabalding Garden."

Squall was stunned. "Well, what did they say?"

"They were both thoroughly impressed with you," said Cid, smiling. "They both attended the war conference two weeks ago and saw your presentation. Feror, the Headmaster at Trabia, said he couldn't believe you were the same boy! Remember you met him in your second year when he toured our grounds? You didn't speak a word remember?"

"Yes, I do remember." Squall said, thinking about it.

"You were much quieter then. An ace at everything, flying through school, top of your class but quieter than a mute! He told me to pass the compliment on to your parents."

"What did you say?" Squall asked nervously.

"I told him of course I would." Cid smiled.

"You didn't tell him that you raised me?" Squall asked incredulously, laughing.

"No, I didn't. But keep the good work up." He told Squall's back as he left.

Squall headed to his office, as ordered and wrote the information about the mission down for Cid. Then he walked back to Cid's, dropped it off with his secretary, who was awake this time and very grumpy.

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Squall walked to the training center. He figured he could lay low there for a half an hour or so and would expect no one to find him. He liked to train so Rinoa would probably try and find him there after she'd looked everywhere else. He didn't care. He whipped out his gunblade and was making his way to his fifth battle when a class of newbies taking a tour of Garden came in. He was glad to see Rinoa was not their chaperone.

They filed in and some of the girl's began to giggle. Squall looked at them and saw they were the same girls who had been in his room that morning with Rinoa. He didn't look at them again.

"Oh hello Squall!" Someone called from the back. It was Nida, a SeeD instructor he had graduated with.

"I didn't expect to see you here." Squall said.

"Well, I didn't expect to see you here either."

"Do you think you would mind so much giving us a demonstration?" Said another voice. He saw Xu, a SeeD instructor, come into view. Squall and Xu were good friends but she was extremely close to Quistis. He shrugged.

"Sure." Some of the newbies were getting excited. Xu and Nida commentated on his battle.

"Squall is one of the top SeeDs here at Garden, so it's a real treat to watch him in training. You should all feel very lucky," said Nida and Xu kept agreeing with him. He felt a spectacle. Xu and Nida were also very good. He didn't know why they were putting him on such a high pedestal. The only reason he could think was because there were so few students to ever choose the gunblade.

Squall walked around a few minutes trying to find a good opponent, when a T- Rexaur came upon them. Some of the newbies recoiled when they saw it, but Squall charged forward.

He jumped and stuck his gunblade though the T-Rexaur's shoulder, splattering blood all over the ground. He kept doing it over again in various spots on the monster. The T-Rexaur did not like this. He started thrashing around in every direction, swiping furiously at Squall who was quite a lot faster than he was. The T-Rexaur's blood was splattering Xu and Nida and the newbies who were freaking out. Xu and Nida seemed to realize he could've taken out the T-Rexaur in one strike and began to protest.

"Finish him!" Xu yelled as Nida shouted, "Stop playing around!" Their words got tangled up but Squall understood their message nonetheless.

He ran and jumped and sliced the T-Rexaur into two pieces and it's body faltered toward the ground. It twitched a little before it and its blood vaporized.

The boy's in the class were cheering, waving their arms wildly around for Squall but the girls had mostly wore an air of disgust, and looked that if they ever had to do that it would be done a lot more gracefully. Xu approached him, in the midst of all the noise the boys were making.

"You could've finished that thing in one strike. Why were you holding back for a lot of newbies? They sure would have given you a lot more praise from them." Xu told him, so that no one else could hear her.

"Praise is not something I wish for." Squall muttered, putting his gunblade to rest on his shoulder and turning away from her.

"What do you wish for?" Xu asked pettily. Squall looked over his shoulder at her, his hair whipping into his face involuntarily. She wasn't smiling. He did not answer her but looked away. Xu squinted at him as if X-raying him. She bit her lip and walked back to the group without a word. He gave her retreating back sinister look before he left the training facility. He sank into a submissive state. He could always go to the Infirmary and pretend to be dead until Rinoa had to leave. He decided that wasn't a half-bad idea.


	5. Chapter 5

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The week passed slowly, and Friday came too gradual for his liking but it came all the same.

Knock. Knock. KNOCK. KNOCK.

"Open this door!" Squall rubbed his eyes and sat up. He stretched and got up to answer his door. He opened it halfway and hid behind it since he was still in his pajamas, which were some old guitar boxers.

"Oh...hi." He said as Rinoa's face came into his view.

"I'm leaving and I knew you'd want to say goodbye." Rinoa said, giggling while rubbing her shoulders against her cheeks and almost blocking her eyesight.

"Goodbye." He began to shut the door but she pushed her way in. She didn't seem to care that he wasn't wearing anything presentable.

"That's it?" She pouted one of her famous pouts.

"Yep."

"Squall!" She suddenly cried, and threw her arms around his neck with tears in her eyes.

"It's...okay." He said gingerly patting her on the back. It was a full minute they stood there and he was beginning to get annoyed. He rolled his eyes.

"I'll miss you." She told him, though it was muffled since she was speaking to chest.

"You'll be late." He said.

"Alright, well I'll call you and we'll be in touch and we'll have to hang out soon! I'll be escorting some people to Balamb in a few weeks so you should be seeing a lot more of me!" She told him she would have to go to the SeeD formal alone if no one asked her soon, pouted when he told her he wasn't going to walk her out and gave him two more hugs before running down the hallways.

He exhaled.

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The rest of the day passed pretty quickly as if someone was moving all the clocks to go faster. The mission he was supposed to attend was canceled and the newest batch of newbies was dropped off and he saw a group of them coming in with all their luggage and suitcases. He was walking the opposite direction of them. There were a lot of them. Most of them looked scared out of their wits. He tried to relate but he couldn't. He never had to leave home and come to Garden and alter his entire life because he had grown up at Garden. He shrugged. He began to walk. Somehow he knew where he'd end up.

He wasn't even past the cafeteria when a young girl came up and asked him for directions. He gave them to her and she thanked him. It seemed as though the halls were quiet and ten seconds later out of the blue there was a throng of newbs. He had to go against the crowd again and move a lot since they all had their baggage. He shook his head and continued his way to the Quad.

He got there and it was very crowded. It seemed that once the newbies had dumped all their stuff in their rooms that's where they were to meet. He didn't feel like being in all the commotion. He fought his way to the entrance, where the newbs were still swarming in.

On the way back to his room he had to battle the exact same thing except that everyone was going in opposite directions. It took him a solid fifteen minutes to walk back to his room.

But when he got there he didn't want to go inside. Maybe Zell and Selphie were doing something mildly interesting so he went down to check. He knocked on Zell's door but no one answered. He walked to Selphie's room and knocked.

"I got it." He heard Selphie say. Selphie opened the door. She didn't look particularly unhappy but she didn't look thrilled either. She just seemed tired.

"Hey what's up?"

"Nothing." He replied.

"Come on in." She opened the door to let him in. Zell was sitting on the bed, hands behind his head.

"What's up?" He asked as Squall walked in.

"This place is swarming in newbs."

"So we've heard." Zell said. "Why do you think we're in here?"

"A lot of them?" Selphie asked, seating herself next to Zell on the bed.

"Twenty minutes to get back from the Quad." He sat down on the end of the bed and continued.

"Well what do you want to do?" Selphie asked, crossing her arms. "We're stuck until they all get settled."

"Do you have any cards, Selph?" Zell asked.

"Sure." She went to the dresser and opened the drawer and pulled out some. She threw them to Zell.

"Want to play?" He asked Selphie.

"No. I'm not going to spend my time locked up here playing cards." She began to pace.

"Whatever. What do you want to play Squall?"

"Don't care."

"Spit okay with you?" Zell asked and began dealing before he even answered. They had played Spit since they'd been SeeDs in training. That's what they always played.

But along the course of an hour they began to talk. Selphie eventually stopped pacing and sat down and talked with them, mostly about their meeting with Cid that morning.

"Well, he called us in but he didn't say why although we were kind of nervous he was going to reprimand us that we had to leave those people." Selphie was saying.

"What did he say?"

"Well, he wanted us to recount the mistake of the team leader and to assure us it wasn't going to be ignored and that it would be taken care of."

"What happened to her? Was she reprimanded or given a citation?" Squall asked nonchalantly.

"Don't know," Zell said. "She wasn't in with us. She must have got summoned separately. We were surprised you weren't in there with us, though."

"Oh well, I was the relieving commanding officer on that mission and since something happened, I had to submit a report. I went to see him yesterday."

"And he penciled you in? Wow…" Selphie said. Moments like this always made Squall a little nervous. None of the other SeeDs knew about Squall's relationship with Cid. They know Squall was one of the top SeeDs but other than that, they knew nothing of Cid paternal role in his life.

As Zell dealt the cards again, he found himself engulfed in silence.

"Did you guys see Rinoa at all?" Squall asked. Selphie laughed.

"No, she's been hanging all over you the whole week." Zell told him.

"She told me she wanted to you ask her to the formal." Selphie told him.

"Who _are_ you going to ask?" Selphie inquired. Squall just shrugged. Zell wasn't really listening. Zell didn't pay attention to girls, seeing that he had already roped one in that he loved and she was pretty simple.

There was knock on the door. Squall and Zell continued to play cards without looking up, but Selphie sprang up to get it. She opened it and stood on the threshold of the doorway, talking to someone. Squall and Zell weren't really paying attention

Zell pounced on her absence. "How are things with you and Quistis?" Zell asked quietly.

"She's still angry with me, I think. It's just hard to have a fight with someone in your department who you can't really talk to even when you aren't fighting.'" Zell patted him on the shoulder.

"It'll all work out. You can't have this fight forever."

"But I-" Squall fell silent. Selphie had just stuck her head in the door and he didn't really feel like sharing his emotions with her too.

"I'm going down to the infirmary with a newb. I'll be back in a few." She closed the door after her. Squall put down his last card and slapped the smaller deck, like the rules of the game told him to. He was winning.

"What is with you today? You just won nine games in a row." But Squall wasn't really paying attention to the game. He'd played it so much in his past with Zell, especially in their first year when students aren't really allowed out of the Gardne, that whenever he played it his mind sort of went onto auto-pilot. Zell picked up the cards and dealt them again.

"Do you ever get the feeling Selphie's not telling you something?" Squall asked him.

"No. Do you think Quistis is hiding something?" Zell said for him.

"Yes. But it's almost like it's me who can't remember. It's probably the GFs."

"Well, we have been using them a lot lately." Zell told him truthfully.

Selphie didn't come back for a half an hour and by that time, Zell had won eleven times and they were still talking about Quistis, so when Selphie and the newb walked in, neither of them looked up, as they were deep in conversation.

"Has she changed her attitude at all since you came to her rescue?" Zell asked. Squall shook his head.

"I haven't talked to her. She won't look at me." Squall said, protesting.

"Who are you talking about?" Selphie asked. Squall looked up to say 'Quistis' when he saw the newbie girl's face Selphie had brought inside.

His heart stopped beating involuntarily. His eyes got wide in shock. She was staring back with the same expression on her face. She took a small step forward, her eyes locked onto his.

"Squall." She breathed. He stood up, knocking the cards off the bed. Unexpectedly, she ran at him and threw herself onto his chest and began to cry.

Selphie was throwing apprehensive looks at Zell.

He lead her out of their room without explanation and lead her to his room. She was leaning on him and her tears flowing steadily.

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Deeply immersed in the latest happenings between Arâshnia Gardens and Balamb she had been printed out and had been given to read minutes earlier, was the last person anyone thought to have something to do with Squall and his unknown visitor. She heard crying and as hard as it was, tore her eyes away from the papers she was reading. Seeing Squall from the side comforting some girl she could not see, made something inside her squirm uncomfortably. She quickly hid behind a column she was near, and listened to what they were saying; only catching snatches of a distant conversation.

"It's going to be all right. I've got you now." She heard sniffling and stuttering as though she was gasping for air because she had been crying so hard but it was impossible from where she stood to make out anything she was saying. Squall unlocked the door and led the girl inside his room.

Making sure they were fully inside the room, with the door shut, Quistis stepped out from behind the pole. Her blue eyes flashed in the light as she stared at the closed door.

"What was that about?" She asked herself silently. She wasn't expecting an answer to come to her and walked quickly to her own room and flopped on the bed. She didn't even finish reading the mission plans for Balamb's attack on Arâshnia's Garden, but lay awake thinking for a long time before she fell asleep, in full dress with her glasses on.

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"What was that?" Selphie asked pointing at the door.

"How am I supposed to know?" Zell said turning away from her in his own frustration.

"Well, if I had known someone since I was five I would know everything there is to know about them." She spat crossly at him.

"I haven't known him since I was five." Zell stated, crossing his arms.

"He's your best friend." Selphie pointed out.

"I knew he was hiding something!" He burst out suddenly. "Remember when he left Tuesday night early? He told me Quistis was on his mind but I bet it was that girl!"

"She's a newbie! Squall wouldn't...no way. He would never-" She looked doubtful.

"Just because she's a little younger you're going to jump to conclusions? And who says anything happened at all?"

"I don't know what to think." Selphie said sitting down and massaging her temples.

"Do you think...maybe Quistis knows?"


	6. Chapter 6

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Squall was having a rather rough time of it. He was standing just inside the door of his room with a sobbing thirteen-year-old on his chest. Having mostly avoided dramatic women all his life, it was kind of uncomfortable to have one on him, weeping frantically.

She seemed to have sensed his uneasiness.

"Kelsey…"

She looked up through her tears.

His heart stopped. He knew that face.

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"LISSE!" The boy was screaming for the girl, but she was much weaker than he was and was using all her strength just to reach out for him. He was fighting with all his might to grab her own outstretched hand but two adults were holding him.

"Let's go!" The children's mother was yelling in her struggle to keep the little girl back.

"LISSE!" The boy continued to shout loudly. The girl began to cry and her mother continued to drag her away. She was weeping, losing her vigor, already weak from being so sick.

"I don't want to go!" She was shrieking at her mom.

"We're leaving!" She shouted back at her daughter. She began to haul her daughter away by the stomach. Her face protruded over her mother's shoulder, bouncing away as she was flailing every piece of her body.

"Squaaaaaaaaaall!" She was screaming, kicking and screaming and pounding her little fists, which hit her mother in the eye, making her drop the girl who hit the floor in front of her mother's feet. But as her mother bent over to pick her up, ignoring the searing pain now in her eye, the child escaped between her mother's legs. She pulled her frail body to her feet and ran to the boy who was still putting up a terrific fight to get back to the girl. She ran to him, dodging her mother's arms. She ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. Her mother ran back and grabbed her arm as tight as she could, ready to yank her away. The little girl winced as the man grabbed the boy's arms to do the same. They were being torn apart. "I love you." He whispered a second before their separation.

She looked up through her tears. His heart broke as their grip slid apart.

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Squall was suddenly jolted back to his seemingly nonexistent reality. He looked into the same face as he had so many years ago. He felt his uneasiness drop off him. He saw this girl. He saw that she needed him, without him she wouldn't survive. Her tearstained eyes were still staring at him as a confused expression played on his face. He dropped his keys as his fingers went limp. He unexpectedly pulled her into his arms and hugged her as though he not seen her for years, as he had not.

After a minute of this, the girl pulled away. He felt something inside his heart sting suddenly as though his touch was disgusting to her. She had the visage of uncertainty, but he was so sure. How could she not be?

"How do you know your little sister's face?" She asked, her cheeks still shining with tears. Her speech seemed more confident, as though she were demanding an answer to something she'd been dying to know but wasn't able to look him in the eye for fear of the answer.

"How could I not?" He reached for her shoulder, but she didn't seem to want to look at him, and she stepped out of reach, as though he had lied to her and she knew it.

"Don't lie!" She demanded again.

"What reason would I have to lie?"

"We have not met since I was six years old. Though you recognize me like you saw me just this morning."

"And I ask, how could you know so well your big brother's heart, when we have not met in so long?"

"How could I not?" She replied, mocking him.

"You want to know how I know your face. You look just like Lisse."

"Who is Lisse?" He opened his eyes, bewildered that she did not know.

"Mother...never told you?"

"I have not seen mother since I have seen you last." His eyes were still confused. "Mother and father were divorced after you were sent here." She added.

"It should not matter, father never told you?" He shouted, burying his face in his hands.

"About what?"

"Lisse."

"I've never heard that name before." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "But who is it?"

"I can't tell you." Squall told her.

"Why?"

"It shouldn't matter. You said you knew my heart and if you were telling the truth you should not ask questions about it."

"Squall!" She reached for his arm but she turned away. She pulled her hands to her heart.

"I don't want to talk about it." Squall said sternly. "Now, please, come and talk with me. It's been years since I have seen you. I want to hear of your life."

"No!" She tore towards the door and wrenched it open, hesitating whether to step over the threshold or not. She swallowed hard, eyes full of tears again.

"I know you don't want to go." Squall said quietly.

"You leave me no choice. You're refusing to speak!"

"I am refusing to speak on that issue, yes." She turned and he was again struck by her appearance. He closed his eyes in his own grief. She sensed his pain. Whoever this Lisse girl was and whatever relationship she had had with Squall must've really hurt him, thought Kelsey. She closed the door and returned to the bed where her older brother was sitting, waiting for her.


	7. Chapter 7

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Quistis awoke abruptly and sat up, drenched in sweat. She looked around. She had fallen asleep in her SeeD uniform and hadn't finished reading the update she'd been given the previous night. That wasn't like her at all. She shook her head and looked at the clock. She'd overslept too. If she didn't hurry she'd be late for the war briefing. She changed quickly, ran a comb through her hair and brushed her teeth before glancing into a mirror. She slipped on some shoes, grabbed the notes and her keys. She locked the door behind her as she left and continued to read where she left off.

She hadn't even gotten out of the Dorm hallway when she heard a door ahead of her open. She looked up to see Squall was emerging from his room. That was a good sign. Squall was also supposed to be at the meeting. At least she wouldn't be late by herself, if she even was late. Squall was a pretty punctual person.

She resumed reading. He turned to lock the door behind him and spotted her. He opened his mouth to acknowledge her but she didn't look up as she passed. She walked a little faster away from him and as she turned the corner at the end of the hallway, she chanced a glance back down it. Squall was gone.

She did a double take. She looked around the hall. Something was puzzling her but she didn't speak and carried on reading, with a bemused expression on her face. She hurried onto the meeting, still reading. She fumbled past the elevator gates and reached out her hand to push open the door of the conference hallway but when her hand hit nothing, she looked up.

Squall was standing there, holding the door open for her. She saw him up close and he looked as bad as she felt; he was panting out of breath and sweat was running down his face. His hair was a shuffled mess and it had not been combed. It looked as though he had dressed in a hurry and forgotten to iron his uniform. The shirt underneath the wrinkled vest was hanging out where they would usually be folded up into cuffs and his collar was doing an odd sort of new fashion statement, with one half up and the other down. She also saw that he had his notes in his hand, probably reading them in a great rush. She had her notes in her hand from the meeting the night before, which Squall had conveniently absent for. Then again, she was sure nothing could keep Squall from a war that had do with his Garden but a very good excuse. Something stirred in her memory from the night before. Before she had gone to bed, she had seen Squall escort a crying girl into his room.

She opened the door to the conference room and all heads turned towards them. They quietly took the empty seats closest to them. Cid's eyes had fallen on them as well but as far as they could see, he was positively fuming.

"Is there any excuse to why you're late and why you did not show up to yesterday's meeting?" Cid asked them, looking over at Squall to say the last bit. Quistis spoke up at once.

"Sir, I was dealing with a personal issue and it could not wait. Anything I have missed I will attend to it after the meeting ends, sir." Quistis said, perfectly professional. Cid eyed her for a second before turning on Squall who said nothing.

"You'll meet me in my office after the meeting." He said.

"Sir." Squall muttered. He hated calling Cid sir. Cid was more like his father and having to be reprimanded was infuriating. Squall glanced around. Xu, Nida, Selphie, Zell and Bejei were all there listening raptly to the words coming out of Cid's mouth. There were more SeeDs towards the front but he couldn't see them all since their heads were turned towards Cid again. Quistis was scanning her notes. He sat in a daze listening to Cid drone on and on about an upcoming war with Arâshnia Garden. Usually, a war would've interested him greatly but today there was much more weighing on his mind then a war.

Towards the meeting's end he appointed commander positions to SeeD members and were given lists of SeeDs in their troupe. As most of the people filed out, he caught a glimpse of his old SeeD training school enemy, Seifer.

Seifer? He hadn't seen Seifer for a long while. Lately, he had been fighting with his own troupe for the Karabalding Garden's over in Middleton, who were at war against the Jiksid Garden. If the war had ended, he would surely have heard. With a pang of guilt he remembered he had skipped the meeting the night before. Maybe if he had been there he would know why Seifer was back. But why on earth would he be back? Seifer was probably very pleased to see Squall get reprimanded by Cid, but Squall was pleased to see that Seifer was not given a commanding position for the mission.

After the meeting, he shambled out of the hallway and onto the elevator that took him to Cid's office. He sat down and waited for Cid who wasn't there yet. Cid came bumbling a few minutes later, set a thick stack of papers on his desk and sat down across from him. He looked up at Squall and back at the papers. Then he did a double take and stared at Squall.

"What?" Squall asked after a few seconds.

"Why are you sitting there?"

"What? I always-" He was sitting in the chair next to the chair he always sat in. He blinked and then moved to his seat.

"Is something wrong, Squall?" Cid asked, concernedly.

"No, nothing's wrong."

"Why did you skip the meeting last night?" Cid demanded. "I could have used your input."

"Why is Seifer here?"

"Maybe if you'd've bothered to show up you would know." But instead of answering, Squall scowled at him. "Well, why weren't you there? Arâshnia is going to war with us!" Cid exclaimed.

"You didn't answer my question." Squall protested.

"You didn't answer mine."

"Alright," he said. "I met Kelsey last night." Cid was dumbfounded and relaxed a little.

"A newbie then?" He asked, like a father would.

"Yes. She spent the night in my room last night. We were just...catching up, you know?"

"Yes. I understand now. You are exempt from anything if you need to be with her." He hesitated before adding, "Even the war, if you must." Squall sat up quickly.

"I would _never_ bail on our Garden! This Garden means more to me than anything and you should know that better than anyone!!" He shouted, appalled.

"I_ do_ know. You just let me know if you need anything okay?"

"Okay. So...why is Seifer here?" He asked, leaning back against the chair.

"We called in all the troupes last night. Trabia Garden is taking over their place with the Karabalding Garden in the war in Middleton while we need our soldiers here, fighting our own war. We think the Arâshnia will attack Trabia soon and we need to be prepared." Squall absorbed all this.

"Why are they attacking us and Trabia? What's going on with our economy and theirs?" Cid got out a map and showed him where everything was in relation to each other.

"We're unsure of what they want yet. They sent in troops and attacked Genevia and as you know their Garden's program...isn't all that reliable. They've assembled what they can but have been mostly taken over. Genevia Garden is closer to Trabia then here, but Trabia and Arâshnia have never had had any confrontations and there would be no reason to attack them unless they were in the same league with us, which they are. We have reason to believe that in order to put us out of commission; they'll attack Trabia, first completely throwing the current war in Middleton into a chaotic mess." Squall rubbed his temples.

"No, that would be bad for them." And proceeded to tell Cid a better plan. "It's the most logical thing to do. Trabia is fighting in our place while we prepare for Arâshnia's attack. They won't be expecting another Garden's attack and all their troops are in Middleton and all our troops will be stationed here."

"So you're saying we protect Trabia?" Cid said, looking over the map.

"We need to put most of our troops at the Middleton war and end it. That will isolate Jiksid and Arâshnia. Then, we need men at Trabia to protect it while they are fighting. Only the back end of us should be here just in case."

Cid looked at the map. Squall was making sense. It was more logical for them to gather their forces and be the strongest Garden of all before attacking Trabia and Balamb Gardens, which were the top Gardens in the country, than to attack Trabia from both sides and have no strength.

"You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that were true. Why didn't you say that at the meeting?" asked Cid, disgruntled.

"All I could think about was Kelsey." He admitted. Cid's anger softened. They continued to speak on the issue and Cid made up his mind. He called another meeting within the next day.

Squall went to his room, head aching from all the thinking he had had to do. He had always been more on top of things about the way the enemy's mind worked. When he neared his door, he found a girl sitting in front of it.

"What took you?" Kelsey demanded.

"Emergency meeting." He looked around. "Are you sure you're not going to get in trouble for being out? You didn't sleep in your dorm last night. Did they notice?"

"No. I came back because I wanted to see you, not to worry about whether or not I'm going to get in trouble."

"You better start thinking about it. I have spent years of my life earning a place at this Garden but that doesn't mean I can override the system to save your skin, so be careful okay?"

"I will."

"And I need sleep tonight. I know we didn't sleep last night and then I was late for the meeting this morning."

"Sorry. Was it important?"

"Yes. Our Garden is at war."

"What? Are you going to fight?" She looked horrified at the prospect.

"No, not as of right now. I am staying to protect Balamb Garden first. But even if they do call me, I have to. This is my, and every SeeD's job." She looked angry. They retreated into his room and she tried to convince him to reconsider. He thought of Cid's words to him, "Yes. I understand now. You are exempt from anything if you need to be with her, even the war, if you must."

She sighed. He had someone who needed him. This emotion swelled up inside him but he wasn't backing down when Arâshnia was picking a fight with his Garden. He would fight to the death for the things he loved most: his Garden and his sister.

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Here's a quick war recap.

There's a war in Middleton (between the Jiksid Garden and Karabalding Garden) so Balamb sent troops to help Karabalding Garden, because they are allies. Arâshnia and Balamb Gardens are going to war too so Balamb calls back its troops from Karabalding and Trabia Garden takes Balamb's place protecting Karabalding.

Cid wants to send all the troops to protect Trabia. Now that Arâshnia is gaining power, they took over Genevia Garden.

Instead of Arâshnia attacking Trabia straight out, they're going to help Jiksid win the war and get more allies first and then attack Trabia, when it's weak. Balamb's people were expecting Arâshnia to strike them but instead they're going to strike Trabia first, where we're least expecting it.


	8. Chapter 8

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Kelsey hadn't slept in her own room since she had arrived at Garden, which had only been two short days earlier. Sunday woke her at nine o'clock but like the other mornings she found herself alone is Squall's room. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She wanted to go back to sleep but something was nagging at her to go get dressed and ready for the day. She followed her instincts and got up and went to get ready in her own room, which proved to be a good decision because the newbs had training the morning and Kelsey had missed previous instructions on where to be.

Squall hadn't gone anywhere special, like he had the previous morning, but he knew the way the Garden worked and if anyone wanted a good productive day they had to get up before six thirty. That was when the main Garden began to open. The cafeteria started to cook; the parking lot garage opened and the library threw its doors open. The training center didn't open until nine and the infirmary was usually always open.

Squall only knew this all from repetitiously attending the Garden for years. He wanted to get some work done. Cid had made all the commanders fill out a lot of paperwork and he needed to finish. Quistis was also made a commander and he figured she'd be up as usual but she seemed nowhere to be found, not that he was really looking.

Squall was secretly happy to hear that Seifer was going back to the war immediately but very disappointed when he heard Seifer had made commander of his troupe, after all. He almost didn't want the war to stop because if it did him and Seifer would see each other much more and both could speak of their hatred for the other.

Squall wasn't going to the war right away. In fact, his troupe was staying to fight for Balamb should anything go wrong. They sent teams that morning but his team would be called in as needed. There was doubt in his mind that they would not be needed. Jiksid was a strong Garden.

He was in Cid's office around six fifteen and before that, talking to Cid about the war and things and Cid would listen like a father and Squall would argue like his son.

By six twenty-nine, Squall was ready for the computers to start turning on and for life to erupt in Balamb Garden. When the clock hit six-thirty he grabbed a pen and a pad of paper and descended to the ground floor by the elevator.

He had been the operations manager of the Garden for over six years now. He was much more a piece of his Garden now but he had gotten the job when he was still young at the Garden and had perfected it. Maybe this was the reason everyone in the Garden knew him. He had been offered the choice, of course, to drop the childish job for that's all it would every really be, but for some reason he had refused. He had many other much more complicated jobs; he was one of the top SeeDs and top SeeDs rarely delivered supplies or helped in different departments other then their own.

It also wasn't the same as it had originally started out. He no longer had to stock the supply cabinets or clean messes, as a rookie student would do. All he had to do was oversee the operations.

Secretly in his mind, he felt that it was an essential part of is childhood he had been scared to let go of. All the people he delivered to had known him since his youth and he felt that they were his family and every morning they waited for him. It was how he started off every weekday. Of course, he only did the checking in before a younger student nicknamed Jones took over. When he was on missions or having meetings Jones took his job over completely and did all the things his job had originally included. But when he was still around, he did it as frequently as he could.

He took a left and walked straight into the library and stopped at the counter.

"Six thirty-three. You're late." Said the kindly old woman looking at her watch. She was shorter than Squall but her eyes were worn and dull as if they'd seen too much.

"Gladys, Gladys, Gladys, if I was early every morning then I'd throw your whole day off."

They talked for a while before he moved on to the training center staff, the parking lot staff, the cafeteria staff, the Quad staff, the infirmary staff and then the Garden staff, at different checkpoints around the Garden. He wrote down all their needs and wants on a little notepad and then dropped it into Jones's mailbox. He sipped the decaf coffee he had gotten on his trip to the cafeteria and rode the elevator back up to Cid's office.

He walked past the secretary and into Cid's office, smiling. And so it was as it had been ritualistically done for the past years of Squall's attendance at his Garden and he would have it no other way.

Monday at eight, the Garden was a different story. The Garden still started at six-thirty, but instead of the nice, calm Garden that it was the previous few hours, it was much busier. The elevators never stopped and people were rushing up and down stairs and hallways with stacks of papers and coffee cups. People were talking about meetings and memos and Cid's secretary was hard at work, juggling five of Cid's callers on hold while doing massive amounts of paperwork.

Kelsey stopped by his room after getting ready and told him that she was having her first class that morning.

"Who's the instructor?"

"Instructor Trepe. Who's that?"

"Oh, you'll be fine." Squall told her with a faint trace of desire in his voice.

"What if I do bad?"

"You can't. Not in her class." He reassured her.

"She's nice then?"

"Well, she's a helpful teacher. If you're doing something improperly, she will help you. That's what an instructor does, instruct." Squall explained. She frowned. She looked whiter and more timid than he had seen her yet. He patted her on the back.

"You'll do fine."

"Will you walk me to her class?" She asked and seeing the doubtful look in his eyes she added, "Please?"

"I've got a lot of work to do but I'll walk you to the elevator how's that?"

"Lame." She told him, running out the door.

"Have a good day!" He called after her, a note of laughter in his voice. She waved without looking back. It felt wonderful to have his sister with him. He had never had that feeling before of watching over anyone. Now he felt like he had grown a strange new heart overnight, a heart that suddenly worried about his thirteen year old sister.

He sighed as he pulled on his jacket and headed after her, unwilling to go to his office for a hard day at work. Unhappily, he sulkily trudged to the elevators himself.

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Kelsey dragged herself into the classroom where most of the class was already assembled. She sat down at the corner table with her roommates, Erica and Courtney, leaned against her chair, arms folded, and listened to them talk to some unfamiliar girls. Then she came in. A woman came in. She had reddish-blonde hair and a deep purple SeeD uniform on.

Kelsey sat up. She had seen this woman before but she couldn't place her face. She unfolded her arms and stared at her. Blinking, Kelsey racked her brains for somewhere this woman might have possibly been that she had, somehow this woman's visage was stuck in her brain.

She had known of her brother only because they'd been close as young children but since she was six, only seen pictures of him from that time on. She hadn't kept in any touch with him nor her mother and it didn't seem possible the woman could have had any contact with her at all from that period of her life since she had lived near Trabia Garden most of her young life.

Her father had insisted, however, that she go to Balamb Garden even she had argued till she had been blue in the face that she didn't want to. Most of her friends from grammar school were attending Trabia and she had wanted to as well. She'd had no idea Squall attended Balamb Garden. She's always assumed he was a Trabia.

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Okay get a grip on yourself. You've got to scare these newbies into submission, Quistis's mind told her. She looked up at all the staring faces.

"Good morning." She said to the class, in a sweet voice. A few people muttered a distinguishable "good morning" back.

"My name is Instructor Trepe and that is how you will address me. I'll be teaching you and I'll probably have a number of you in the years to come. In the future, you may even be working with me. But I need to get a few things straight with you all first." She told the class kindly; who were mostly paying attention.

"If you think this is a game," she said, losing her smile. "or something fun to do and that you'll coast through and get your SeeD rank by getting mediocre grades and by not doing your best...THEN GET OUT!" She bellowed loudly, pointing to the door. A couple of the students were jolted by the sudden increase of volume and jumped.

"I am a fair teacher." She said, returning to her sugary volume. "If you do hard work and have a good attitude while getting good grades, you should go far. I notice your effort and there will be NO slacking off in here." She could've patted herself on the back. Most of the newbies looked scared out of their wits that she might have another outburst again. It had taken all her strength to yell at them because she really was a kind teacher but she had taught for too many years to know that if you came off all nice and calm then students will walk all over you. Quistis Trepe wanted all her students to know that she was a force to be reckoned with.

"Now, I will be calling each of you into my office," she pointed to an adjoined room, "to discuss your SeeD training and career pathss, after I call roll. Take note of where you are sitting and sit in the same seats all week. I will call you by row, from right to left. This will take a few days."

Kelsey sighed. She was in the back left corner, meaning she would be the very last to be called.

Quistis called roll. When Quistis called out "Griffith, Kelsey," Kelsey didn't even look up, but simply raised her hand. When the attendance was finished, she told them to talk quietly while she met with each student.

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	9. Chapter 9

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It was the end of class on Wednesday. There were only about three more students to be called into Instructor Trepe's office and Kelsey was one of them. The time dwindled in the classroom and when the bell rang there, there was only one student left. She roused from her sleep and stood up, stretching. As her roommate came out of the office, she told Kelsey that she should go in. Kelsey looked at her watch. It was already past class time but she resigned to having to do it now then later and trudged into the classroom.

"And you must be...Kelsey Griffith," said the woman, checking off the last name on her list. As she studied Kelsey through her glasses her green eyes bore into hers for a few moments as a sad look came into them but when Kelsey looked back, she was sure she had imagined it.

"That would be me." Said Kelsey, plopping herself down in the chair centered in front the desk.

It went on for a half an hour. Kelsey kept thinking that she didn't remember that any of the other interview sessions had run this long. Maybe it had something to do with her being last and that the bell had already rung so the teacher was going slower than usual. Kelsey didn't know but she wanted it to be over. There were interesting parts, parts about the Garden and her career there, but it was getting dull. Now the only thing Kelsey's mind was on was how this woman's face rang in her mind. And as she began to wrap things up, Kelsey saw a more easygoing side of her professor.

"Okay, just a few more questions, it looks like." Said Instructor Trepe, examining the paper.

Kelsey said nothing.

"What is your weapon of choice?" Kelsey had been waiting for this to come up, the whole time.

"I haven't decided. I'm stuck." The woman's kind face looked up and for the first time talked to the student in front of her as an adult.

"Well, what's your dilemma?" She asked, leaning back in her chair.

"I'm caught between the whip and the gunblade."

"Both very good choices. I am drawn to tell you the whip because that is my weapon of choice but only the strong of mind choose the gunblade." Her mind immediately focused on Squall but she shook her head of thoughts of him.

"Why?"

"It is a very difficult weapon to master. Few ever choose it for their long-term goals. Many believe they'll be tough enough to handle it but when they really get their hands on it, they realize what a mistake it was to choose it. We have only a couple gunblade masters in the whole Garden this year. About three of four were released from Garden last year and that has swayed our numbers in gunblade users dramatically, I can tell you."

"I've heard it's very rewarding." And she wasn't lying. Squall and she had wandered onto that very subject the first night she had been at Garden.

"Well, if you want, you can tell me your choice in a few days."

"Ya that would be better." She stood up to go.

"Well, that pretty much sums things up. It was nice to meet you, Lisse." Kelsey did a double take. Instructor Trepe had taken no notice of the error she had made and casually went on filling in the paperwork, adding dates and names.

"Excuse me?" Quistis looked up over the top of her glasses at the pupil in front of her who had spoken. She dared not believe it was such a threatening tone, coming from a student, a _newb_ at that.

"Yes?" She asked. Kelsey didn't know how to explain what had just happened. She was getting a flash back of Squall and her arguing about this Lisse person back in his room. He would not tell her about this ominous girl but to say that she had looked like her and here she was, not even thinking about it to have imagined it and her instructor just called her by the same name.

"You just-" Kelsey sat down. _What did she just call me?_ She thought to herself.

"Is something the matter?" Her teacher asked again. Kelsey was silent but she was putting two and two together.

"You know Lisse?" Kelsey blurted out. The woman was suddenly taken aback. Her eyes grew wide and she took off her glasses to peer intently at the girl in front of her.

"What- what did you say?" Quistis asked her breathlessly.

"I asked if you know Lisse."

"Why would you ask me that, of _all_ things?" She demanded.

"You just called _me_ Lisse. So I thought...you might know her." But as this the woman let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's not a hard thing to do considering how much you look like a friend of mine whose name, truly, is Lisse."

"Where can I find her?" Kelsey asked quickly. The woman hesitated.

"What would you want with Lisse?" Quistis asked, bewildered.

"I need to speak with her!" Kelsey told her. She needed to know about her. She needed to know what her parents had hidden from her. What Squall was hiding from her.

"I'm afraid she is too far for you to go to as a newbie here."

"I don't care where she is!" Kelsey cried hysterically. "Please, I need to know!"

"Like I said, you-"

"I said I don't care! If I have to I'll run away from this place!" These words seemed to jolt her.

"Run away? Just to see Lisse? Why is _she_ so important to you in the first place? How do _you_ know her?" Quistis said angrily.

"It doesn't matter! Please, just tell me!" There were tears coming out of Kelsey's clear blue eyes now, and Quistis realized in her heart that if she were this girl she would expect something from her instructor. She would expect instructions.

"How about we make a deal?"

"No!"

"Please just calm down and listen to me and I'll tell you where she is."

"But I-"

"Please. Have a seat." Kelsey saw no way out and took her seat.

"Where is she?" Kelsey broke out.

"Now, let's make a pact. If you don't say anything to anyone about any of the things I'm saying to you right now, I'll...I'll take you to see Lisse." Lisse's pretty face flashed in front of her eyes and it brought peace to her heart, as she continued. "Do we have a deal?"

"What are you talking about? What am I not allowed to repeat?" Kelsey asked.

"Anything. All you're allowed to say about you being in this room is that I asked you all the necessary questions and you left. That's it."

"And you'll take me to see her? No questions asked?"

"I think I should know the purpose of this outing before we go."

"I want to see Lisse."

"Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"Yes."

"I think you should learn to trust me, especially if you're going to be using either of those weapons."

"Why?" Kelsey asked suspiciously.

"Well, I, of course, train those who chose the whip but I have extensive knowledge on the gunblade too because I first chose it and worked with it for most of my years at Garden."

"Why did you change? Was it to hard?"

"Certainly not. I didn't _change_ really. I am just training with a new weapon, which I happen to like much better."

"Oh. Well...I guess I won't say anything."

"Kelsey, you cannot guess you won't say anything. Don't say anything."

"Okay. So when are we going?"

"I'll have to get back to you on that, just, please, don't run away. What's you room number?"

"140."

"I'll be in touch." Kelsey got up to leave, feeling a lot better. She definitely hadn't expected to make a secret pact with her instructor in the first couple days she had known her and it undeniably made her teacher rise in Kelsey's standings. "And remember. Not a word to anyone."

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	10. Chapter 10

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Squall was back in the Quad after a long day of working. Leaning back on his favorite bench he saw the children playing with the butterfly, as usual. He watched them, their glowing faces.

_I hope they catch that butterfly one day_, he thought to himself. The advanced training class, the students to soon become SeeDs, were having some kind of music festival. There weren't a lot of people there, just a few band nerds playing their instruments with relaxed and peaceful looks on their faces as if their whole purpose in life was to be there. He couldn't blame them. They definitely weren't shabby. They were doing a classical piece Squall had never heard them do before. They usually did the same pieces and he was glad to see they had found another one to practice. He was just tapping his foot to the beat, watching the children play.

He heard footsteps. He didn't want to look up. He was sure it would be someone he didn't want to see. Kelsey, asking him with endless questions or Rinoa, hanging all over him when she had a boyfriend or some newb he would really want to punch...

He just wanted to be alone. He needed his space every once in a while and all he had done today was answer questions and fill out paperwork. This was just how he relaxed, by going off into some corner and closing his eyes.

The footsteps were getting closer. He reluctantly raised his head and looked up to see the only person he had never expected to see and when he did see her, she didn't annoy him at all. He, in fact, really wanted her to join him...

But Quistis just walked right by him, not even glancing in his general direction. He shook his head of her face and looked back at the children. Squall's eyes focused on their faces. They were still jubilant and happy. He smiled grimly, staring at them, remembering.

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"I miss you Squall." Said the blonde girl through the telephone receiver.

"I miss you too, Lisse." Said the boy back.

"I miss you more!" She told him, tears welling up in her tiny eyes.

"Do not!" The boy protested his heart about to break because of her absence.

"Do too!" She called back, her heart in pain too.

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Ya-" She stopped. "Oh, mom says I have to go. And mom says I can see you soon."

"When?"

"I don't know. She said soon. I guess I'll see you soon then. And we can catch the yellow butterfly together, you know, the one in my butterfly book, cause mom got me a new net!"

"Wow! I bet we will with a new net! I'll wait for you and I won't go catching anymore butterflies without you."

"You better not because- Oh, I really gotta go now."

"Okay, I love you Lisse."

"I love you too, Squall."

"Bye."

"Bye." Both ends of the phone hung up.

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He hung his head, in pain more than anything. He stood suddenly in frustration. At that moment, Quistis had been walking back by, obviously staring at him but his sudden movement had startled her and she stopped. They were face to face, silent.

She swallowed and tried to say something. But it barely came out a whisper and she didn't continue.

"I..." She stopped. She remembered herself yelling at him and a tear rose in her eye and fell down her cheek. He reached out a hand, to pull her in to a warm embrace but she stepped back and quickly wiped away her tear. He stepped towards her but she stepped back again and turned and ran up the steps and out of the Quad.

His eyes watched longingly.

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_Why does he have this effect on me? _She asked herself._ All I did was my duty...I shouldn't be ashamed. I am not ashamed...But...his eyes...make me ashamed._

She was running through the halls of the Garden. She wiped away her tears as she ran. She had to get away. She couldn't go to her room. He could find her there. She knew he wouldn't follow her but she just couldn't go back...

She ran out into the main courtyard in front of the Garden and ran down the stone steps, through the security booth and out the main gate where she fell on her knees and cried.

_I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. I need someone to hold me...I need Lisse..._

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_Why do I have that effect on her? I know she's upset about the other day but good God, why can't she get over it. It's in the past. Girls tend to dwell way too much on things happened in the past. _

_How can you talk? _Asked another voice in the back of his head. _You still haven't gotten over Lisse so how can you expect her to have gotten over Lisse too when she has trouble getting over the last few days? _

He rolled his eyes. He found himself, sitting in the Quad, contradicting himself.

He heard more footsteps. He lifted his head, hoping, praying...

"Why do you always come here?" His best friend asked him.

"I like it here." He said closing his eyes.

"That's no excuse to send girls out crying." Squall looked up. "I saw Quistis in the hallway. I can only assume it was because of you." _He assumed way too much then seeing as I didn't do anything. ._ He thought to himself. _Then again, Zell always jumps to conclusions._

"I didn't."

"Well, for one this, Quistis and you have always been tight and when you escort mysterious newbies to you room, one can only wonder..." Squall gave him a dirty look.

"Well, it's true."

"She-"

"Stop." He said, pausing, "Think how it looks from an outsider," Zell started.

"But I-"

"Who happens to be a girl."

"I didn't-"

"Who just happened to get in a fight with you."

"We-"

"And she doesn't want-" He stood up and roughly grabbed Zell's shoulders.

"ZELL!?"

"Sheesh. What?"

"SHE-IS-MY-**SISTER**!"

"What?" Zell looked like he'd just been told he was pregnant.

"My sister." Squall said, almost verging on hysterical.

"Sister?"

"Yes."

"Sister?" He repeated.

"What?"

"_Sister_?"

"What?" But Zell's eyes were unfocused, as if trying to find something deep inside his mind.

_Squall why are you so damn stupid? Here you go through all these years to keep it a secret so you won't have to think about it and it comes back to haunt you when you get accused of having relations with a newb, who let alone is your sister! _He was screaming at himself. _Here come all the questions. _

"I remember...I remember your sister. But-but she was older than you." He looked at Squall. "I can't remember her name."

"Kelsey."

"Kelsey?" He looked confused. "Kelsey doesn't ring a bell at all."

"You-" _Don't say it Squall. You're only hurting yourself. Zell doesn't care. He didn't care then and he sure as hell doesn't care now. If you tell him he's just going to drag you into a world of hurt. Just don't say anything..._

He bit his lip. He was right. If he did bring this up he would be the one haunted by the memories and Zell wouldn't be affected at all. _Don't do it. Don't... _But the other voice in his head woke up. _Zell's been your best friend for as long as you can remember knowing him. He deserves to know the secret you've kept from him all this time...If you told him about Lisse, he would remember her... Don't do it... Yes, He deserves it... No, those images will come back, they'll haunt you Squall... Yes, Zell's been nothing but loyal to you for many years... No! Yes! No! Yes! _

"What?" Zell asked him. _Just say it! _He closed his eyes.

"You...have been using your GFs or something...I guess." _Good job, loser. How many lies are you going to tell the poor guy? You're just going to get caught up in your lies and die slowly when everyone finds out and finally confronts you. He's going to figure it out eventually. _

"Must be." Zell said. "Well, I ought to be getting back. I was with Selphie when I saw Quistis. I told her I'd meet up with her." Zell turned to leave but as he was walking up the steps, he stopped and stared. Stared at the exact spot where the children had resumed trying to catch the darn butterfly. And as Squall leaned his head back and closed his eyes there was a smile on his face as he listened to Zell continue up the stairs.


	11. Chapter 11

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The voices in his head returned as he sat there.

_What were you thinking? Zell is your best friend! He deserves the truth instead of lies you give him! _Said the first voice.

_At least he's cool with the story I gave him._ The second voice told him.

_Think about what you're saying! Zell accepts the story because that's how he is. He's your friend so when you tell him something he's going to believe it!_

_So, when I tell him the truth he should believe that too, if we ever make it there..._

_No, wait a minute, he's not going to believe it because he won't know what to believe since all you do is lie to him! _

It was like a battle between Squall's good conscience and his bad one. The bad side was screaming at him to lie for the benefit of himself and the good side was telling him to tell Zell the truth. He half expected to see two fairies sitting on his shoulders when he opened his eyes: the good fairy in white, donning a harp and the bad fairy in red, with little horns perched atop his head.

He decided to talk to Cid, his only paternal friend.

_Talking to Cid won't get you out of this mess._

_But Cid knows the whole story so he can understand me...right?_

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About twenty minutes later, after telling Cid most of the story, Cid was trying to reassure Squall that it would all work out but Squall was having his doubts.

"I'm telling you-"

"No, I'm telling _you_. It will all work out." Cid assured him, in his office.

"Fine."

"Well, if it doesn't, I'll give you your money back for this session, okay?" Squall smiled.

"Okay, it's a deal. Especially considering, coming to you is free." He got up and walked to the door. "Thanks." And left.

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_Get a hold of yourself. Come on, take deep breaths. It'll be fine. Everything will be just fine. _

She stood, breathed in the air, and walked back into the Garden through the main entrance.

"Hey Quistis, you okay? I saw you run out of here about ten minutes ago." Said the guard at the doors.

"Oh I'm fine, I just have allergies. Just a reaction to uh...some dust."

"Oh, okay. So, When are you taking the newbies to the center?"

"Well, they only visited the training center once and it was on the tour of the Garden so we won't be in till next week. Are you overseeing the center this month?"

"Yes."

"Well, good, then I guess I'll see you sometime late next week."

"Okay."

"See ya." Glad to get away, she reluctantly walked back to her room.

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Walking outside, the sun hit him.

_So, Quistis isn't upset about yelling at me, she's upset because she thought I was being sweet on my sister. Riiiiiight._

He was walking along the road, an occasional vehicle rumbling by. Not many people used that road during the week anymore. It led to the city of Balamb straight from the Garden. He wasn't really paying attention to where he was going. He was just...walking.

_But how could she _not_ know I have a younger sister. For crying out loud, what _doesn't_ she know about me? _

Just walking, walking, walking...

Balamb was in view. He had, of course, skipped work before but in his mind this was probably the least productive thing he had ever skipped work for. He strode right into the streets of Balamb when he reached it. He had barely ever been there on his own. It was strange to him that he barely knew where he was, having lived just down the street from it, all his life.

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The next day...

_Geez, 140 is way at the end. _

Quistis was walking down the newb hallway to find Kelsey's room but it was proving more difficult than she expected. Newbs were everywhere. In the hall they were laughing and talking and trading games or marbles in clusters since their next class wasn't for another half-hour and they weren't supposed to wander around during their first few months. She made her way through, some giving her wary looks as to ask why she was wading down the newb hallway when their next class wasn't starting yet, let alone they had a different instructor that day. She got to 140 and knocked on the door. A girl from her class, Erica, answered.

"Oh! Instructor Trepe!" She said surprised.

"Hello. I was wondering if I could speak to Ms. Griffith. Is she inside?"

"Yes. Let me get her." She retreated a few steps and yelled, "KELSEY!" Kelsey came out and saw Quistis.

"Oh! Hey!"

"I don't want to intrude on anything but either I come inside or we go somewhere else." She told Kelsey in a low voice.

"No please, come inside. Please excuse the mess." She opened the door for her. It was a mess. Just proof that four teenage girls shared the dorm. "Hey Erica, Courtney, Yuka, can you excuse us for a moment?" She asked the other girls in the dorm. They filed out wishing a hello to Quistis. Kelsey shut the door behind them and locked it.

"Please sit down." Kelsey told her. But there didn't seem to be a place where she could sit so she brushed the playing cards off to the side of the bed and sat.

"I wanted to come by to arrange a time to…_see_ Lisse."

"Whenever possible!"

"Well, I teach classes all week and you attend classes all week so that won't work. And I know you have training on weekends so when do you suppose we do this? I mean, unless you want to wake up at like three in the morning." She joked. But suddenly Kelsey's face lit up.

"I'll do it! What day?" But Quistis had really only been joking.

"Uh...?"

"Is Saturday okay?"

"Uhhh.…...sure." She said, going with the flow of things.

"Alright! Then were should we meet." Quistis jerked out of her daze of thinking maybe Kelsey was joking too.

"Uhhh...How about at the entrance gate?" She sputtered, trying to figure out what had just happened.

"I'll be there!"

As Quistis, wandered back down the newb hallways, she wondered how that had gone so wrong. _Okay, will you chill Quistis?_ She told herself. _Just do what you would expect what your instructor to do for you. _

_But Kelsey wants me to take her to Lisse. If anybody finds out, we'll be in some serious trouble. But...I would want someone to get in trouble for me._

_The thing is...she'll want to meet Lisse and get acquainted and everything. I'm just glad she is my best friend and I'm glad she's only really gone from this place and not my heart. And maybe...Squall's heart. I think she helps Squall know what to do. I just hope he listens sometimes..._

_Most times..._

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But Thursday soon evaporated and Saturday approached at high speeds...

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Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Her footsteps echoed through the empty entrance hall.

_This is insane. How could I get up this early for a student? Is she insane? Or am I insane?_

The girl looked up and stared into the eyes of her instructor.

"How long have you been sitting here?" Quistis asked, breaking the silence loudly.

"About a half-hour."

"I told you three, not two-thirty. What if someone caught you?"

"The thing that matters is that they didn't."

"Let's go before I decide against it. Your attitude is annoying."

"Did you call Lisse? Did you tell her we were coming this early?"

"No need."

"What is she...an insomniac or something?"

"Something like that..." Kelsey gave Quistis a piercing look, almost as if she were trying to look right through her.


	12. Chapter 12

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They walked around to the parking lot and Quistis slid her SeeD card through the machine and the lock turned green and beeped. She pulled the door open, Kelsey beside her. They walked to the end of the garage. It was full of vehicles. SeeDs didn't really need cars. Balamb was so close and SeeDs got car rentals for free. The lower students couldn't go out as late until they were at intermediate level and they had to pay to rent cars. SeeDs were free to go out whenever but they did have guidelines. As one of the top SeeDs and SeeD instructors at Balamb Garden, there wasn't much restricted to Quistis. She slid her key through the door to the rental office. No one was there. She planned on being back before the first guard came to work at 6:30 but night rentals were only open to SeeDs and all SeeDs had to sign in and out on a log.

Kelsey pointed this out, but Quistis said nothing. She picked out the keys to the car at the furthest end of the hanger. Then they walked to it.

They were speeding towards Balamb with little conversation. Kelsey had no idea where they were going. Was Lisse really an insomniac or had Quistis told her to meet at 4 in the morning? Kelsey thought both scenarios sounded highly far-fetched.

Suddenly, as though trying to avoid something in the road, Quistis pulled over onto the side of the road and turned the car off. Kelsey didn't see any lights nearby and that ruled out that they were going to Lisse's house. Kelsey thought that maybe they were meeting somewhere. That somewhere being wherever they had just stopped.

Kelsey expected some kind of hint from Quistis to let her know that they were in the right place. Perhaps a simple, "We're here" from her lips or the knowledge that she was getting out of the car but Quistis just stared through the windshield. Kelsey thought she looked as though she were about to cry but she didn't speak. After about five minutes, Kelsey ventured out.

"Are we meeting her here?" Quistis hung her head but remained silent. "Is she not here yet or something? Is that why you're not getting out?" She shook her head.

"She never leaves this place but to dwell in the hearts of others." Kelsey was taken aback. It was as if Quistis was a different person, sitting there staring into the darkness. Her words were strangely poetic and elegiac.

"Well, if she's already here, they why aren't we getting out." Quistis shot her a nasty look.

"You haven't seen where we're going. I have and I know what its like. You have no idea. You will never know Lisse like I have and therefore you can never appreciate how much I suffer every time I walk through the gates to see her."

"I'm sorry. You're right. I don't know where we're going or what we will see." Quistis sighed.

"Then I guess it is time for you to understand." Quistis slowly got out of the car. Kelsey's adrenaline was pumping. She was going to meet the person Squall was so intent on keeping secret from her. She felt so free breaking his rules, without a care in the world.  
Quistis began to walk. It was hard to make out anything. It was dark and the blue haze hadn't even started over the horizon. Without the car lights, she was hardly distinguishable from the air around her. She could barely make out Quistis and stayed close by her side. She seemed to know where she was going without the aid of light. The only sounds that echoed through the stillness were the sound of their feet imprinting the dewy grass and the crickets scurrying at their movements. After walking a short distance, they turned. Kelsey had no idea where they were but continued after Quistis. Then abruptly, she stopped. Kelsey thought maybe they were lost but Quistis wasn't talking or looking around, from what she could see and her eyes were beginning to adjust to the dark. In fact, Quistis wasn't doing much of anything but staring down.

She pulled something out of her pocket and knelt down. With a burst of eerie light, Kelsey saw that Quistis had lit a candle with a lighter from her pocket. It threw into her eyes the dismal scene around her. She was standing in a graveyard. Quistis looked over to see Kelsey sharply intake her breath.

The tombstone nearest her read:

Lisse Leonhart

The dates labeled her a child, merely ten or eleven years at her death but the date of death was almost ten years ago. The dew from the air made the candle sputter and hiss as it crept up towards the wick and made it shine sinisterly in dips of unearthly light.

Kelsey didn't believe her eyes.

"Leonhart?" She asked in a whisper.

"You know the name?"

"It's not a very common name!" She said, almost hysterical.

"No it certainly isn't. I've only ever come across one family with the name." Kelsey's head was spinning. Surely Quistis was talking about Squall. She had graduated only a year before him. They were both SeeDs. She remembered Squall saying that she was a fair teacher when she told him that her class was first. Did that mean...

"There is a boy at the school with the name Leonhart." Kelsey stated, trying to not to let Quistis know she knew Squall.

"I see you are well informed of the Leonhart's. Yes, Lisse and that boy were very close."

"They were practically the same age!"

"No, Lisse was a year ahead of him. My age."

"Were they related?" Quistis nodded. Kelsey swallowed hard. "How?"

"Lisse was his older sister."


	13. Chapter 13

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Ring ring ring.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come up to my office?" Cid inquired.

"Right now?"

"Well...ya. Are you busy?" Squall sighed.

"A little. But it's okay. I'll be in up in a bit." He glanced at his watch.

"Okay, thanks." Squall hung up the phone. Why couldn't Cid just tell him whatever he wanted to say over the phone? Squall stopped what he was doing and stood up, stretching. He yawned and left his office, heading towards the elevators. He pushed the up button and jammed his hands in his pocket to wait. When the doors opened, he came face to face with Quistis. Neither of them spoke. She hurried off towards the back wing.

_I wonder what she's doing up here? _He thought looking after her._ Her office is on the second floor. _He walked onto the elevator and pushed the four button.

_Maybe she was coming from Cid's. I wonder if he told her something too. No wait, she must have been coming from the lower levels if the elevator took that long. _He told himself looking at his watch. It was normal for Squall to overlook the little things, like that he had been at Garden so long he had the elevators timed out._ Whatever, I can just ask Cid if he said anything._

He stepped off the elevator into the quiet hall, walked past Cid's secretary and walked into the office, plopping himself into his chair.

"What's up?" But from the look on Cid's face, he could tell the news wasn't good.

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"It's not like I need it immediately or anything but yeah, it would be nice to have." Quistis told Xu over the phone as she typed up a report on her office computer.

"Well, I don't think she'll have it by tomorrow morning so I can just finish whatever she doesn't have done." Xu told her. Quistis sighed, looking at her watch.

"Okay, I guess that works."

"Then I'll bring it by after my last newbie's training session."

"Fine, then I'll see you later." She hung up the phone. She glanced at her watch again just to make sure it had been correct ten seconds ago even though she wished it wasn't so late. She sighed again and began to rub her temples. She heard footsteps in her classroom and she stopped. No one was supposed to be on the second floor at this hour unless they were staff but who would come to her room? Normally the others SeeDs would call or e-mail but hardly ever walk in unannounced.

_Well, except Squall. He would just walk over to say hi if he was near. _The she remembered that Squall and her weren't talking. When she found herself thinking about Squall she focused her thoughts back on the intruder.

She didn't move. Should she investigate? If they wanted her they would knock on her door, right? She saw the light under the door suddenly shadowed by the figure standing outside the office entry. She stared. Hopefully it wasn't Cid or someone important to walk in and find her just sitting idly. She turned quickly and continued typing. It seemed the person was having a hard time knocking because they were just standing there. Then, without a knock, the door opened.

She looked up to see Squall's face in the doorway. Her eyes were piercing as if they were screaming for him to start speaking about what he wanted and get out as soon as possible. He wasn't meeting her glare.

"Can I help you?" She asked after a few minutes of silence. He looked as if he was on the verge of revealing a dark hurtful secret and wanted to shout it out but knew it was likely to sting on the impact. He still would not look at her. The scene was frozen. Quistis was sitting, waiting while Squall stood motionless on the threshold, content on watching the floor.

"What's going on? Is something the matter?" He still didn't speak.

He took a deep breath, as though he had needed to reflect a bit before spilling the secret.

"As commanding officer of Battalion Staff it is my duty to-"

"Oh, Squall! NO!" She cried, standing up, pounding her hands on the desk. She had heard those beginning words so many times before when she had to recite them, to learn them in case anything ever happened, but hearing them for real on the receiving end hurt so more than she had ever anticipated. Nothing was ever supposed to _really_ happen. He continued to talk as though he had not heard her.

"It is my duty to alert you to reassign all advanced, intermediate, beginner and newb trainees and or any officer training or working underneath you to another leader. I am also to alert you that your classes will need to be reassigned to the instructor of your choice who is not in Battalion Staff. There will be a mandatory officer's meeting held tomorrow in the main meeting room at three sharp. Please be prompt and have all official gear and paperwork ready by then." He closed his eyes, now that what he had had to memorize was over. He was afraid to know how horrified her face was. He would not look.

She had a look of utmost horror on her face as she stumbled backwards into her chair. The address given by Squall was saved for the extremely important occasions. The very fact that Cid had told Squall to tell her, the second commanding officer of the Garden made her worry. She knew that there were only three people in the whole Garden who knew the information as of that moment: Cid, Squall and her. That was not a good sign.

"How can this be? How can this have happened?" She said, her face still incredulous.

"Battalion Eight has failed. We're going to war."

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Repeating the memorized "War Ticket Address", as the SeeDs often called the speech, was not easy. It was something every SeeD has to learn before even becoming a SeeD. It was called that because when someone told it to you, it was like they were handing you a sure ticket to war.

He had gotten the hardest ones over first: Quistis, Zell, Selphie, Nida, Xu...the SeeDs he would be closely fighting with...his graduating class…his friends.

He trudged up to Cid's office, thoroughly put out.

"How did it go?"

"How do you think it went?" He snapped at him.

"Don't give me lip." Cid said, warningly. Squall gave him a dirty look but refrained from saying anything more. Cid was his father or the closest thing he'd ever had to one and although Squall didn't like Cid's conditions he knew when to keep his mouth shut. Squall didn't feel like hanging around Cid's office so he turned and walked out with folded arms.

He didn't walk towards the elevator when he came out of the office either; he turned and walked to the stairwell. He climbed a flight because the elevator didn't go to the roof. The neat thing about Garden's buildings was that they were inside. He emerged from the door and shielded his eyes. The sun was poring through the dome's tinted teal surface and making the light around him look eerie. He walked to the edge of the building and looked down. He saw the Garden, it's students talking happily as they made their way to their next classes. He turned to see the beginner class coming out of the training center swinging their weapons around, bragging about how they whooped up on some monster in the training run. How carefree they were. He sighed and looked at his watch. He would be expected back in his office soon. He took one last look at his home and left back down the stairs.

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	14. Chapter 14

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Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Ya come in." Squall looked at the door as his younger sister entered his office.

"_This _is where you work? Sweet!" She dropped her stuff on the floor and plopped into the nearest chair. All around the walls of Squall's office were trophies and diplomas and achievement awards. She noticed there were no pictures.

"How did you know where my office was?"

"Ask and you shall receive." She told him, smiling.

"Well, I still have work to do." Squall hadn't told Kelsey about him going to war yet. The information had just been released to SeeDs, officers, and the advanced Garden members yet. Only the top of Garden knew. Should he really tell Kelsey? Would she be okay with it? Would she spread it around?

"Well I'm not going to bother you. I just want to look around." She began to fiddle with the items on his desk.

"So did you have a good day?" He asked, trying to bring it up in casual conversation, getting back to his work.

"It was okay. I told Instructor Trepe I chose the gunblade and it made her happy. She said I would get to work with a bunch of really nice people." She stood up and began surveying the plaques on his walls. She leaned in close to read one of the dusty certificates on his wall.

"Are you sure you _want_ to work with the gunblade?" She turned her head sharply from the frame, still leaning in to it.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well...people who master the gunblade are...rare. They're usually very...determined and need to...work a lot more to get to the same level as the others. It's very hard to advance so when you do get your diploma you'll be one of the top in the class but I won't deny it's hard work."

"So? I can do all that." She said turning back and bending over to the credential she was studying.

"And...Well...take Quistis for example-"

"Quistis?"

"Instructor Trepe. Her and her team are always called to battle...and..." His words drifted off into space.

"And?"

"And she is often called to war." She abandoned the plaque and stood up with an unbelieving look on her face.

"Phish! Give me a break! I know the war is raging right now but it's not like they need you - you being in the top battalions. I mean, when's the _real_ last time Instructor Trepe was called to war?" Squall wouldn't meet her eyes. He didn't respond. "Squall?" His eyes were glued to the floor. "When was the last time Instructor Trepe was called to war?" She asked again. He took a deep breath.

"About an hour ago." Kelsey stumbled backwards, her face scared. She shook her head. She knew he would be going with her.

"NO!"

"Who else but me would lead the troupe?" Squall asked, closing his eyes, trying to stay calm for his own sake.

"I won't let you go! I just got here! I'm not going to loose you! I haven't waited this long to spend a week with you! I've waited too long!" She lunged at his desk and slammed her hands down. "YOU _CAN'T_ DO THIS!"

"I can."

"Don't I mean _anything_ to you?" She demanded.

He said nothing.

"Don't I?" Tears were welling up in her eyes. Did her life mean absolutely nothing to her older brother? He took a deep breath.

"This place is my home. If I have to die fighting for it, then so be it."

"So this stupid Garden means more to you than _I_ do? _How can you be like this_? I've waited my whole life just to be with you and then a week after I do your going to go sacrifice yourself in some stupid war!" She turned away from him.

"This Garden is not stupid and neither is this war." He said, coolly.

"You don't understand!"

"No, I think it's you who doesn't understand. Let me explain something to you." He said, more sharply than before because she was about to speak and he cut her off. "I never had a family. I never lived with my parents somewhere before Garden like all the others kids had, like you have. I was born here. Everything important to me has happened in this building. Having it torn down...I would have nowhere else to go. This is the only place I know...the only place I've ever known...I would be lost without it. And even if I die, it's not good to hold onto the past. You would just have to get on with your life and-"

Somewhere deep inside, Kelsey snapped. She rounded on Squall and with a furious face began to scream at him.

"HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO LET GO OF THE PAST? YOU WHO CAN'T GET OVER YOUR STUPID SISTER WHO DIED TEN FREAKING YEARS AGO! HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE?" She turned and began to storm out of the room but as she reached for the door he was in front of her with livid eyes. She swallowed hard, immediately realizing she'd gone too far. She wasn't supposed to know about Lisse. Squall looked enraged and full of hate, his eyes flashing dangerously. He grabbed her arm tightly, spun her around and pushed her against the door.

"_Who told you about Lisse_?" He asked in a deadly whisper. She began to cry. "_Who_?"

"I- I promised I wouldn't say anything!" She cried.

"_I don't care what you promised. Only three people in this Garden could have told you, now damn it TELL ME WHO IT WAS!_"

"I promised her I wouldn't say anything!" She shrieked. But he knew who it was._ Her_. Kelsey had said _her_. Cid, Squall and Quistis were the only ones who knew. With Quistis being the only girl, Kelsey had narrowed her choices down to one.

He yanked her arm around and opened the door and avoiding the elevator, headed for the stairwell, dragging Kelsey, who was whimpering the whole way down.


	15. Chapter 15

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People were beginning to stare at the pair of them: Squall enraged and practically dragging Kelsey because she wasn't walking fast enough, through the halls and down to the SeeD dormitory corridor. He walked straight to a room and threw Kelsey on the ground in front of the door, still crying. He pounded on the door with his fists, leaving slight dents with each additional time he hit it. He heard a woman's voice from inside.

"Will you hold on? I'm coming! _I'm coming_" She said through the door. She opened it quickly - quickly enough to be face to face with Squall. She inhaled sharply as her eyes landed on Kelsey, weeping onto the floor. "Ohhhh my."

"_Quistis Marie Aliala Trepe, how dare you_" She stepped back but she had a nasty side too.

"How dare I _what_" She said, her temper getting the better of her and stepping forward into his face.

"How dare you tell this girl the story of my life! She has no right to know - ABOUT ANYTHING! _MY_ LIFE! _MY_ SISTER! HOW DARE YOU GO SHOUTING IT AT ALL" His eyes began to bulge out as he screamed. Quistis narrowed her eyes but spoke calmly.

"This girl is a student in this Garden and I am a teacher at this Garden and when a student asks a question the teacher is supposed to respond to the best of their ability." Quistis knelt beside Kelsey and helped her up.

Luckily for them, most of the SeeDs were still in their offices and very few people were still lingering about the Dormitory Corridor or Cid would have already been down there, breaking the fight up. That was that last thing they needed to make the situation worse: Cid, but although Squall knew this, he wasn't bothering to keep his voice down. He was so enraged, he was berating Quistis with all of his might. He was also lucky to have caught her in her room, or he'd have marched straight into her office, amidst the other classrooms on the second floor, Kelsey being like a rag doll, and Cid would've been there in the blink of an eye.

"I thought you had the decency to keep your mouth shut! God damn it Quistis, it's NONE OF HER DAMN BUSINESS" Kelsey began to moan loudly, taking short breaths, tears still streaming down her face.

"This girl came to me with a plea Squall! A plea for some god damn help and I called her Lisse when I saw her damn face! LISSE! LISSE, GOD DAMN IT"

"I don't care who the hell she looks like." He said angrily, turning away from the pair of them.

"When a student comes to me with a need I do the best job I can. She was going to run away to meet Lisse! What was I supposed to do?" She asked harshly. Kelsey sank back onto the floor.

"How the hell should I know what you were supposed to do but GOD DAMN IT YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL HER! GOD DAMN IT - SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANYTHING." He roared, stepping up to Kelsey. He didn't know what he wanted to do, maybe to help her up, or maybe to strike, to end it all. Quistis stepped in front of him.

"_This girl does not belong to you._" Quistis whispered fiercely.

"She damn well better do as I say!"

"Just because you're a damn SeeD you think you can order people around well news flash Squall-"

"It's not because I'm a SeeD, Quistis! _It's because she's my sister_" Quistis choked, and swallowing hard, knowing from the evil look in his eye that he was telling the truth, her eyes landed on Kelsey, sobbing uncontrollably at these last words.

"Then she has _every_ right to see _her_ sister." Quistis spoke, quivering.

"YOU TOOK HER TO _SEE_ LISSE" He roared. "HOW DARE YOU" Quistis lost control, her hair falling out of it's neat bun, teeth clenched, fists balled and her little round face, red with fury.

"How dare I? _HOW DARE I_? Am I nothing? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING SQUALL LEONHART! LISSE LEONHART WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND I WAS A LOT CLOSER TO HER THAN YOU KNEW, THAN YOU EVER WERE! GODDAMN IT SQUALL, SHE DIED IN MY GODDAMNED ARMS! NOW YOU TELL ME WHO HAS MORE RIGHT TO BRING ANYONE TO HER GRAVE, ME OR YOU AND LET ALONE HER SISTER BECAUSE HER BROTHER NEVER TOLD HER ANYTHING!" She raged into her room and slammed the door. The building trembled for a few seconds before Squall stormed away in a fit of absolute anger and hatred, leaving Kelsey screaming on the floor.

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He went down the hall to his room and slammed the door. The GFs had totally affected his brain. He had forgotten Quistis had known. He should have known her better than to leave his secret to her and he should've never mentioned Lisse to Kelsey and trusted his father to never tell her something he was so ashamed of.

He was fuming.

But back in her own room Quistis was crying.

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Beep Beep Beep Beep. Quistis reached over and hit the snooze button. Sitting up, she saw that she had cried herself to sleep. She stretched. She looked at the clock and saw that she was running late again. She got ready; the events of the night before still playing like a broken record in her head. She had time to get her lesson together after she'd gotten quickly ready and gone to her office. She thought about calling Cid and telling him that she was sick and couldn't teach today. She plopped into her chair and knew that she'd have to face Kelsey in class when the time came. She put her head down on her desk. There was a knock on her door, even though it was wide open. She lifted her head up. It was Xu.

"You okay." Xu asked.

"Ya."

"I heard you and Squall got into a fight."

"From who?"

"Selphie."

"Selphie?" Quistis wondered aloud.

"I guess she was leaving and came out and saw you two. She ran for Zell but when they got back you guys were gone and neither of you were answering your door."

"I was sleeping." Quistis told her.

"Oh. You're sure you're fine then?"

"Yes."

"Okay." She left. Quistis was feeling a bit apprehensive. She hadn't seen Selphie at all since their last mission and didn't remember seeing her anywhere near the Dorms before the fight. She knew Xu wouldn't lie to her but that's what it sounded like. She didn't want to question it at the moment. She didn't remember anyone knocking on her door either. She had concluded that she must have been asleep by the time they came around knocking. She put her head back down. Lisse was on her mind.

Her words had been true. Lisse, Squall's older sister, had died in Quistis's arms. They'd been best friends and neighbors as long as they could remember. They were planning on growing up and attending Garden together but when Lisse was eight years old, she was diagnosed with Leukemia and their mother refused to let Lisse go. And of course, conjoined at the hip, Quistis had not wanted to go without her. Quistis's mother had let Quistis stay home from Garden too, to be with her sick best friend. After a while, Lisse began living at one of the children's hospitals. Quistis stayed with her through thick and thin, always by her side. Then Lisse died and Quistis went on to Garden alone, confiding in Squall, who had loved Lisse beyond anything too. But he'd forgotten last night. He'd forgotten those long hours they spent crying over her, mourning over her. He'd forgotten they once shared the same pain...that they still shared it.

It was also true that the GFs had made him forget, as he had forgotten most of his childhood days with his mother before Lisse was sick. All he did remember of his mother were the times he was forced to be away from Lisse while she was getting treatments. He hadn't been able to see her the whole month before she died and then his mom lied about Lisse's death to try and get him to forget about her before she had to break the news to him. After that, he told her to stop visiting him at the Garden. Cid took him in and cared for him with his wife, before she too had died of cancer.

His parents were released from the Garden and moved to Balamb. He barely remembered his father and Kelsey. They used to visit him on the weekends until he was old enough to be alone when Cid was gone. Even then, his father would leave Kelsey there for the weekend and pick her up on Monday mornings. How had he never mentioned Lisse to Kelsey? He at least thought she knew she had an older sister. He thought was an insult to her memory that their parents never told her and that she had to find out this way.

Would Lisse ever rest in peace? Squall and Quistis were both furious with each other. They both missed Lisse. If only she were alive, she'd have known exactly what to do.

The bell rang. Her first class that had been mingling outside began to file in. She put her head down on the desk again. She wasn't ready for them. Kelsey was in her second class but she knew that if she faced the first class she's eventually have to face the second class to and the thought of coming face to face with Kelsey would rip her heart out. Kelsey had purposely not told Quistis that she was Lisse's sister. She felt betrayed. She was the one responsible for their fight. Quistis had just been doing what she would have done for a sister if she'd had one. She told her the truth. The second bell rang. She would need to go teach.

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	16. Chapter 16

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She gave her first class bookwork, not bothering to really be an adequate teacher. She gave them just enough to work until the bell and told them to hand in what they had even if they hadn't finished. It wasn't even worth a grade for the right answers. She figured, if they did it they would get full marks on the assignment. And that's when her stomach had started flip-flopping - when the bell rang. She had been in her office for the whole lesson, door closed, head down on her desk. She had her phone off the hook, her cell phone off and she wasn't answering the e-mails Cid kept sending. Xu came over to check on her during the ten-minute class change and she pretending nothing was wrong but it was rather obvious.

"Hey." Said Xu, sticking her head in Quistis's office. Quistis had had her forehead on the desk, eyes closed.

"Oh!" She said, sitting up quickly, the topmost paper sticking to her head. Xu laughed as she removed the paper.

"You're sure your okay? You seem a little bit out of it today."

"I'm fine, I must have just dosed off." She said, lying, waving her hand at her.

"Okay, but if you need anything, let me know."

"Stop, I'm fine. Go on, you need to get your grades in by one today. The students get interims in their last period. Don't let me hold you up because I'm having an off day. The late bell is due to ring any second." She said looking at her wrist with no watch for the time. The she glanced at the computer to see the time there, but the screen was blank. She shook her head. "Just get going!"

"Alright." Xu said, heading out of the door and towards her own office. The bell rang and her eyes flashed towards the door. Her heart began pounding faster. She stood up and took a deep breath. She opened the door from her office to classroom with apprehension but quickly composed herself. She did not look on Kelsey's side of the classroom as she made her way to the front desk and began to call attendance. She was doing good until she saw the words "Griffith, Kelsey" on the sheet in front of her. Her stomach flipped again as she paused.

"Griffith." She said, like all the names before. No one replied. Was Kelsey being stupid on purpose? She refused to look up into Kelsey's eyes.

"Griffith." She said again, louder. She heard a small voice. It was Yuka, one of Kelsey's roommates, who spoke as Quistis still did not glance from the paper.

"Kelsey has been missing since yesterday afternoon, ma'am," said Yuka, informatively. Quistis's eyes raked Kelsey's empty seat. Quistis felt the pen slip from her fingers and had dashed from the classroom into the hall before the attendance list had hit the floor.

---------------------------------------------------------------

_This cannot be happening_, Quistis told herself, sprinting down the corridor, heart pounding in her throat. She ran into Xu, who was walking down the hall to the elevators. Xu turned, completely bewildered and called after her.

"What's going on? Who's watching your class?" She shouted after her, but Quistis did not reply, thinking hard.

_This isn't real. She can't've done what I think she did. If she were in the infirmary, I would have gotten a phone call. Damn it, I've had both phones off this morning. But if they hadn't been able to get in touch with me, they'd have sent someone down to tell me, right? Damn it Kelsey, are you that naïve? _

She was running through the halls of Garden, her legs beginning to ache but it didn't stop her, since her mind was so clearly focused on it's goal: _Get to Lisse_.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Her class sat there thunderstruck, talking and whispering amongst themselves. They hadn't even been without a teacher for minute when Xu came bursting through the door, having been just seconds down the hallway.

"What happened?" Xu asked in a dangerous voice. Silence.

"What happened?" She shouted, pounding her hands on the teacher's desk, fingers splayed. Still, not one student said anything, afraid that Xu would most likely start exploding at them. They were leaning back in their chairs, apparently scared beyond measure.

"What's going on?" Said a voice from the doorway. It was Squall, who had been walking down the hall and had come in, curious to hear Xu's screaming voice from Quistis's classroom.

"Quistis left. I saw her running down the corridor." She pointed. "She left her class here without anyone. Something must have happened." She told him quickly. Fearing for Quistis's safety, Squall turned on the class.

"I want _you_," he said pointing at a random boy in the front row. "To tell me _exactly_ what happened in this classroom since the bell rang." The boy spoke in hardly a whisper.

"Instructor Trepe was taking attendance, one girl was absent and she ran out."

"Well, who was absent?" Xu asked impatiently, grabbing the list off the floor and scanning it. But Squall had taken a step back.

"Kelsey Griffith." Said the boy and Squall in unison.

"I am going after her." He told Xu, running the same path as Quistis.

"Wait! Squall!" But he was already gone.

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	17. Chapter 17

Breathing hard, Quistis burst open the door between her and the parking garage, which had been shut. She ran out in front of a rental car that was speeding away and made the driver slam on his brakes and turn the wheel to barely miss her. She didn't care as long as he stopped. She ran and got into the passenger's side and yelled at the bewildered driver that this was an emergency.

"Go!" She shouted as he stared at her. The driver put his foot down so hard the tires squealed as they accelerated to eighty miles per hour in seconds, peeling out of the garage so fast that they left the skid marks smoking. Squall glimpsed the car flying away as he ran out of the same door after her. He grabbed a key from the booth and jumped into a car to the protests of the garage manager.

The first car was racing down the road and Quistis was giving instructions to the frightened driver.

"Start slowing down." She commanded him. He complied.

"Stop!" She told him, flinging open the door and jumping out while the car was still in motion. "Wait there!" She yelled, not bothering to turn around, leaving the door hanging open as she sped into the gates of the cemetery. She wove in and out of the tombstones, not stopping to rest. She ran along the aisle where she knew she'd find what she was looking for...

And there was Kelsey's limp body, facedown, only feet away from Lisse's grave, her lifeless hand around a candle. Quistis ran over to her and turned her pale figure over. She was freezing, not moving.

"Oh wake up. Wake up, please wake up..." But her attempts were fruitless. Kelsey's white face seemed dead. Quistis hoisted up her body and began running back to the car but Kelsey was a lot heavier than Quistis had imagined and her body was in shock from all the sudden exercise she was getting. She was concentrating so hard she wasn't realizing someone was running up to her...

Squall's hand touched her own and their eyes met as he took Kelsey's body into his own arms and ran her to the car. Quistis helped him situate her so her head was in her lap. He was grasping her hand. Quistis was stroking her head as Squall told the driver to get back ASAP.

They rode in silence, both of their hearts wishing, praying for her to be okay. He put his ear down on her heart to hear its beat. He breathed easier. Quistis was wringing her hands, glancing around as though she'd forgotten an important tip to give to her class in a lesson.

Without realizing it, they were back at the school. He held Kelsey's body in his arms, sprinting to the infirmary with Quistis not a step behind him. Quistis and Squall burst the doors open where Dr. Kadowaki was wrapping gauze on a boy's singed hand. She looked up through her thin glasses.

"Oh my." She jumped up, instructed them to lay her on the bed and did a quick examination of the body, opening and closing her eyes and feeling her face and hands.

"She collapsed from fatigue, it seems. She's just resting now. She should be awake soon." Both of them let out sighs of relief. "You say you found her at the cemetery by Balamb?"

"Yes."

"Is it possible she ran the whole way? That would certainly give any person a reason to collapse of fatigue." Dr. Kadowaki said, guessing at what had happened.

"That's very possible." Quistis said. She wasn't looking at Squall. Dr. Kadowaki was now examining her arms and glanced at the watch on Kelsey's wrist.

"Quistis, don't you have a class?" Asked Dr. Kadowaki. "If you need to be somewhere, I'll look after her and alert you when she wakes up."

"My class!" Yelled Quistis jumping up and running to the door but Squall cut her off.

"I'll look after them for you. Be here when Kelsey wakes up. She needs to understand and she's not going to want to listen to me." She still didn't look at him.

"I'll stay." She said, sitting next to Kelsey's bed.

"Thank you." Squall said to Dr. Kadowaki before running out of the room.

"You're welcome." She said, even though he was gone. "I don't know why he thinks I would stop taking care of him now." She told Quistis, laughing a bit. She examined Kelsey again and sat down at her desk to write a report.

"I'm sure he's probably been in here more times than everyone else in Garden combined." Quistis said, laughing with her.

"Even more." She told Quistis.

He ran to the classroom and threw himself in the door. Xu jumped up.

"Where did you go? Where's Quistis? _What's going on_?" He was out of breath but he didn't know why. He had undergone far worse physical training than that to get his SeeD rank. He pulled Xu aside, to whisper away from the class but their voices dropped in unison so they could listen in.

"Quistis just had to clear up some...stuff." The whole class was listening intently and his voice kept dropping.

"Stuff?"

"Ya."

"Well, is she almost done? I have my own class in five minutes."

"She won't be done for a while so she sent me back." Xu eyes scanned him suspiciously.

"You sure you can handle them?" She asked, throwing him a disbelieving look.

"Uhhh...I think I'll be fine." He told her looking at the class. They looked positively frightened at the thought of not having Quistis in the classroom. Or maybe it was him being their new teacher that scared them.

"Okay everyone listen up. Squ - er - Instructor Leonhart will be taking over the class from here on. You can talk quietly for the rest of the class." After she was out the door she called back, "Good Luck."

Not one student spoke. Not one word echoed in the classroom. One girl raised her hand slowly.

"What?" He barked, sitting on top of Quistis' desk.

"Is Instructor Trepe all right?" She girl whispered.

"Yes."

"Will she be back tomorrow?" A boy in the back asked.

"Yes."

"What happened?" Someone else yelled. He sighed.

"It is Quistis's busi-"

"Who's Quistis?"

"Instructor Trepe. It's not my place to say." After the class heard this they became considerably more friendly. Maybe it was because their instructor was all right or perhaps they had deemed Squall worthy of protecting her privacy and they felt safe because of it. Squall definitely began to notice the flair in the class.

"What weapon do _you_ use?" Someone asked.

"The gunblade." They oohed and aahed.

"Is it hard?"

"Not for me." He said, being honest.

"When did you come to Garden?" He withdrew a little bit before regaining his composure and decided to answer honestly, for once.

"I've lived here my whole life." He said meekly but the class didn't seem to want to give Squall room to breathe. They erupted into a frenzy of questions and it seemed they were demanding answers.

"Your whole life?"

"What about your parents?"

"Didn't you live somewhere else before that?"

"Did you have a totally major head start against everyone else?"

"Do you like it here?"

"Actually my parents were both SeeDs. When it came time for the Garden to release them, when they reached the age of 20, my dad stayed here as a SeeD instructor while my mother worked in Balamb."

"And your parents wanted you to stay here while they worked?"

"Well, sortof. Both of my parents wanted me and my sisters to grow up in the Garden so when they decided to divorce I just stayed here. My father moved to Trabia with my younger sister because she was too young to come. My mother lives in Balamb. This was the only place I knew. I love it here." He found himself having a conversation with a class of wide-eyed students who were hanging on his every word. He smiled. They were absorbed in him. He was such a strong leader and here he was, talking more than he had in years, to a bunch of kids. He found that he liked it.

"So were you like a pro before everyone else even started at Garden?"

"Well, I really did have a big head start against everyone else. Most kids were totally clueless when they got here. But I knew everyone and everything about this Garden."

"How old were you when you first started training?"

"I was six." They all started jabbering.

"Was it hard?"

"At first but then I got used to it. Waking up at 5:30, running around the Garden ten times before the morning was over. I knew the "War Ticket Address" before I was eight." He said laughing.

"So you never grew up in a normal home?"

"Nope. I'm 100% a home grown SeeD." They laughed.

The swirling stopped...all was dark. And then - light. Bright brilliant white light. She put her hands up to stop the light. It got dimmer and dimmer until she saw a face.

"Morning sunshine." Quistis' voice said. Kelsey laid back against the pillows.

"Is Squall angry?" She asked. Quistis continued scanning over the paper she'd been reviewing.

"I don't think he's mad."

"I didn't want you to give it to me sugar-coated." She told her crossly.

"I didn't." She said, not looking up.

"He's not mad?" Kelsey asked, almost hopeful.

"No, I think he's confused."

"About what?" Quistis looked over the top of her glasses over the top of her paper.

"You. You've brought back a lot of memories he's been trying to forget. All this time, he's been hiding it. He hasn't even told Zell, his best friend. I mean, for eleven years to go by and for him to be thinking about it everyday, suffering alone and for you to suddenly deepen that pain that's been enduring silently - he was just...infuriated."

"Eleven years?" She asked, looking sorrowful.

"Mhm."

"That's a long time to hold it in."

"And you just happened to be the first person he released all of his heart onto, that's all." Quistis told her gently.

"Why did it have to be me?" She closed her eyes, crying a little.

"He forgets. He's just been using his GFs much more than he should and he knows it will make him forget it all."

"Maybe that's what he wants." Kelsey shot out fiercely. Quistis blinked.

"I truly hope not. Not Lisse anyway."

"Why?"

"Why would you want to forget your best friend? Even if they are dead, wouldn't you want to remember the good times? The fun you had?"

"Not if it hurt."

"But it doesn't. Even if it did, the joy would overcome any pain. I think of Lisse everyday - God she was beautiful. She looked a lot like you when she was your age." Quistis said, nudging her chin fondly. "Well, I mean she would have, if she'd made it to thirteen."

"How old was she?"

"Eleven. It hit us both so hard. I came here because my parents wanted me to have some discipline after she died because I wouldn't do anything. I just cried in my room. I wouldn't eat or sleep. I became so thin you could see all my bones and I would just pass out after a few days. I didn't want to come at first. It was where me and Lisse were supposed to come together. And it seemed to me so empty without her. And then I met Squall and we would just sit on the roof and cry and cry. It was the most peaceful thing - to cry for hours and hours. And he would just hold me." She said, remembering. "And now he's forgotten."

"Because of the GFs?"

"Because I am a SeeD Instructor."

"So?"

"I taught him when he was in third year." Kelsey laughed.

"You taught Squall?"

"Yes. I was an intern for the lower classes. He is a year younger than I am. We were not permitted to be friendly. I always had to be hard on him but he knew that. We were still friends. Sometimes though…I would forget we weren't in classes. I would yell at him for doing something wrong or sloppy when he was the best in the class and I could hardly have done better myself. And he hated me for it. We grew apart. We would talk every once in a while. And he uses those GFs… even after everything, it became hard for us to remember what we've been through together. And then last week, I yelled at him again - just because I was the commander of the mission. And then I took you to see Lisse, maybe it was because I was so mad at him…mostly for forgetting that I loved Lisse just as much as he did."

"You sound like you love him." Kelsey said. Quistis said nothing.

"Are you an instructor?"

"Nooo," Squall told the class laughing.

"Why not?" They all complained but he laughed more.

"I suck at teaching." He admitted but they rebelled again.

"No you don't."

"You're teaching us right now!"

"You're doing as good as Instructor Trepe does!"

"Hey, don't dis Quistis."

"Have you known her long?"

"Are you guys friends?"

"Isn't she the best?" Squall laughed at their questions. They were quite amusing to him. Their faces were beaming and happy, just listening to the sound of his voice advising them.

"Yes, I've known her for a very long time."

"Did you ever train with her?" Someone asked.

"Actually, she was also _my_ SeeD instructor."

"WHAT?" They all shouted in unison.

"Aren't you guys the same age?

"Did you guys do your training missions together?"

"Instructor Trepe was your SeeD instructor?"  
"Did you graduate together?"

"It's actually quite hard to explain. She was a year ahead of me but we graduated at the same time. Since I was so much more advanced than my class, they let me take Year Three courses and Year Four in the same year. While you're in your Fourth Year, you are observing your career selection and since I was just training to be a commanding SeeD, I could train after my classes. Quistis was interning to be a SeeD instructor so she interned in the teaching of the Third Year Class, which I was in. Since we both completed Year Four at the same time, we graduated in the same class."

"So she taught you everything you know, huh?" One of the students blurted.

"Actually," said a voice from the doorway. "He taught me a lot more than I ever taught him." The class' heads turned to see Quistis in the doorway. Squall smiled, almost apologetically. The class' voices erupted.

"Are you okay?"  
"What happened?"

"You taught Instructor Leonhart!"

"You're back!"  
"Do we have homework?"

Quistis smiled at them and told them to clam down.

"I'm fine. I just had to take care of something. Thank you all for waiting. And, no, you don't have homework, Ricky." She told a boy with his hand in the air.

"Did you all learn a lot while I was gone?" They all agreed they had. She smiled again as she turned and whispered to Squall.

"Were they okay?"

"They were fine. How is she?" Quistis took him aside.

"She's scared you'll explode again. I told her you wouldn't, so don't. Kaye is looking after her. She'll be back in class tomorrow." He let out a sigh of relief.

"That's good news." He said. The bell rang and the class filed out slowly, all pleading with Squall to become a teacher and slapping him high fives. When the door shut behind the last student, Quistis grabbed his hands.

"I should have said it before" She blurted. "I should have said it a thousand times to you. I'm so sorry." The tears were coming now, down like a flood. "I'm so sorry." She continued. "I treated you like you were something less than a friend." He embraced her.

"And I'm sorry for forgetting what you'd done for me." He pulled her off him suddenly.

"Squall wha-" But pulled her into a kiss before she could say anything else. They stood together, one in their sorrow.

Quistis helped Squall to let go of Lisse's death and to love her _in_ her death. He confronted Kelsey and told her that he loved her and that he was sorry for everything. They went to her grave and placed lilies and daisies on it the next day, lilies being Lisse's favorite flower and daisies being Kelsey's. He confessed to Zell (and helped Zell remember Lisse again) and everyone else what had happened and thanked them for loving him. Kelsey returned to class the next week.

Squall was the happiest he'd ever been.

In spite of everything that had happened, the war was still raging. And Squall's battalion was still going.


End file.
